Well, that makes it easier.

AN ACTUAL EXCERPT FROM AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION I HAD WITH CHRIS SIMS YESTERDAY:

Me: I think I am going to roll back my pull list a bit. I'm looking at you, Nightwing, Robin and possibly Birds of Prey...

Well, alright then. Decision made.

This Week's Haul: Grab Bag Week

Every four to five weeks or so I hit what I call the 'grab bag week.' This was one of those weeks. The big titles this week were, of course Buffy and Dark Tower, but since I don't read those I get an odd selection of sidekicks and minor characters. With a couple of notable Marvel exceptions.

Nightwing #145

This has actually turned itself into a really good Bat title. The current storyline is totally messed up and insane, but very fun. And the Morales art has been fantastic.

This issue is also monumental because, I believe, it's the first time I've seen the word 'vaginally' in a mainstream superhero comic. And it's not even used the way you'd expect in a Nightwing comic!

Robin/Spoiler Special

As I mentioned in the comment section of the last post, I don't really care one way or the other about the lack of memorial in the Batcave for poor Stephanie Brown. I liked her as a character, I hated everything about the War Games storyline, and I am glad that she's back. I think the whole "Hey guys! I faked my own death! Leslie helped!" return is pretty lazy, but I forgive it. I kinda feel the same way about it that I do about Brand New Day: I don't care how they did it, as long as they fixed it.

So this comic was pretty good. Two stories, both by Chuck Dixon and both with great art. I enjoy Robin and Spoiler together. It's got a nice old school Robin/Batgirl feel. Stephanie is the Barbara to Tim's Dick.

Wait. That didn't come out right.

Secret Invasion #3

Alright, here we go.

So, is Tony Stark a Skrull or what? And if he is, is that good or bad? I mean, obviously that's an easy way to explain away why he's such a douche now, but at the same time...

Well, either way, Yu has been at the top of his game with the art on this series so far. And I'll say this: whatever is happening in this whole Secret Invasion thing, it's holding my interest. Keep it up, Marvel!

Jonah Hex #32

Matador vs Bull!

Bear vs Bull!

Hex vs Bull!

Hex vs Scum Bag!

And all with fabulous Jordi Bernet art! Darwyn Cooke is doing the art for the next issue, in which Hex travels to Canada! I can't wait! I'll bet Darwyn draws some attractive mounties!

Justice Society of America #16

I really like comics/television episodes where the characters are granted wishes, so I really enjoyed this.

Damage gets his face fixed! Yay!

Lookin' good, buddy! We should introduce Gog to Jonah Hex.

Overall, I'm not super into this whole Kingdom Come storyline, but I really like this big, happy Gog.

And I like that Black Adam is working his way back into a JSA title.

Midnighter #20

This is a the final issue in a story that, I'm just gonna say it, got pretty bland after Giffen took over. Love Giffen, but this just wasn't a good run. This series started with a fantastic Ennis story about traveling through time to kill Hitler, and continued to be very good until the latest storyline. This issue, however, was pretty good. Certainly very violent, which is the reason to read Midnighter comics.

I am sorry it's canceled because I was hoping for a day that it would get awesome again. Oh well. If only the Morrison/Ha Authority comics would ever continue.

Justice League Unlimited #46

Another final issue. I find it sad when an all-ages title bites the dust, but I guess it's inevitable when the series has been off the air for several years. And, really, the series was more for nerdy adults than kids anyway. The end of this series means the end of the fantastic institution that is Justice League Unlimited. A great show, and a fun comic. This issue, much like every issue of this series, probably had too much going on in it for young kids, which is why Super Friends makes a lot more sense as an all-ages title. But it did make me think that a Green Lantern Corps cartoon series/all-ages comic would be a great idea. I mean, come on...Gnort? Gnort is made for all-ages reading!

Trinity #1

I love the cover because Superman is all "My logo's in focus! Bam!" As an aside...I really hate that Trinity logo. It's like "We need a logo for this series...pile them all on top of each other! No wait...that looks weird...um, blur the bottom two."

I had pretty low expectations for this, after the crushing disappointment that was Countdown. This wasn't bad though. At worst, it was boring. And that's just how I felt. Maybe I just don't have the energy for another weekly. The issue was fine, I just didn't read it and think "Sign me up for another 51 issues of this!"

The Amazing Spider-Man #561

This was SO GOOD. Really, there are no complaints at all about this series so far coming from me. Especially if they are putting people like Marcos Martin on art. (It should come as no surprise that I am a huge fan of Batgirl: Year One).

I never thought I would say this, but Spider-Man is now one of my favourite titles. And JLA is one of my least favourite. What crazy, upside-down times we live in.


Sorry these reviews are so late this week. I was having some computer troubles. Better late than never though, right? And I am trying really hard to not make it never.

This Week's Haul: Brand New Day

Blah. I had an 8.5 hour operations management class today. My brain is fried. Time for comics!

The Amazing Spider-Man #546

I LOVED THIS!

One More Day was terrible beyond words. It was actually a giant insult to comic readers everywhere, as far as I'm concerned. But this issue of the all-new Spider-Man was excellent. Peter Parker is a lovable loser, it's funny, he has a secret identity, he's friends with Harry Osborne, he's single, he's broke...it's great.

Scenes like this one, where Peter is looking for a job, are so enjoyable:

Oh, Spider-Man. It's so nice to laugh out loud while reading your comics, and know that the writer wants me to.

So while One More Day was just awful, at least it led to this. Even if it took the laziest route possible.

Now if I could just think about this comic without getting that damn Sting song in my head.

Green Lantern Corps #20

I loved this because it TOTALLY sounded like Guy and Kyle decided to get married.

They have, in fact, decided to move to Oa together. And Guy is going to open a bar there! I think this is a fun development.

I love how Hal and John are all "Wow, that's a big decision. Are you guys sure? When did you decide this?" Totally sounds like they're getting married.

Hee!

Green Arrow/Black Canary #4

This issue was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, obviously it looked fantastic. Chiang's art is so good that it can even make scenes as goofy as this one look amazing:

The hero who is panicking and yelling at everyone because a loved one is on the brink of death story line is nothing new, but there was something extra touching about Ollie losing it on everyone over Connor. Especially when Hal got there.

Awwwww.

And then Black Lightning makes a fairly sensible observation:

I would think that, being a member of Meltzer's Justice League, he wouldn't even notice that anymore.

Wally's comment here confused me:

Arthur is in the water? Really? Where? What's his status? I thought he was dead. Or whatever.

So Connor isn't dead. But he is brain dead. You can still be hot when you're brain dead right?

Nightwing #140

Saaaay...this was good! Rags Morales serves up some great-looking art, and Tomasi gives us a story that's kinda like Nightwing: Brand New Day.

Nightwing is making some changes. He's making an HQ for himself in New York, for one:

Look at how nice that art is!

I loved this meeting between Batman and the two boys about family always coming first:

Oh, Batman.

The Nightwing title has a long, proud tradition of being very boring, but I really liked this issue. I look forward to more!

Marvel Adventures Hulk #7

This was totally awesome as always. I know there was that other big Hulk comic out this week, but I would advise everyone to buy this one instead. I mean, if you like Hulk. Like, regular Hulk being Hulk. But maybe you guys aren't interested in fun adventure stories full of the greatest Marvel characters. Maybe you want Hulk to be red.

I mean, check this out: Bruce Banner wants to step in and help out the Silver Surfer, so he asks Rick to punch him. Rick refuses. Hilarity ensues:

Jeph Loeb can't write funny like that, people!

Superman #672


All I want to say about this is that I hate insects. They are gross.

Ew.

The Spirit #12

Ohhhhhhhh...why did this have to be so good? The last Spirit comic by Darwyn Cooke and J. Bone and it was so damn perfect that now I'm all upset.

Why does this have to end but Marvel Zombies continues?! It's not fair!

I want a Cooke-designed Spirit action figure. Anyone else?

Scalped #13


This is the first issue of a new arc and it was AWESOME. I think this might be the best storyline yet. Although, really it is all one long storyline. I hope everyone is reading this series by now. You can buy the first trade with a money back guarantee! Do it! (I'll bet they get exactly zero books back from unsatisfied customers).

Teen Titans Lost Annual

Oh man. Bob Haney + Jay Stephens + Team Allred + JFK = the best.

I am pretty vocal about my love for the late, great Bob Haney. Nobody can write insanity like that man could. Sadly, he never got to see this comic before he died. Happily, the rest of us have finally gotten that opportunity.

JFK is kidnapped by aliens who believe his leadership skills will help them win a war on their planet. He is replaced by a shape-shifting alien. Robin notices. The Titans go to the distant planet to help win the war so the president can return to Earth. While all this is going on, the president is assassinated...on Earth...as in, it's actually the shape shifter who is famously killed, not the real JFK. The real Kennedy decides that the shock of revealing that he is actually still alive would be too much for Earth to handle (??!!...so his wife and son can just deal with the loss, I guess). He decides to return to the far away planet, where he continues to live happily.

Bob Haney is the greatest writer of all time. And this panel alone proves it:

Yeah, that's definitive Haney right there.

The art looks really great. The cover is beautiful. There's a lovely Nick Cardy sketchbook in the back.

Showcase Presents Robin The Boy Wonder

Trust me. You want this. If you don't own it you are missing out on heartwarming classic tales like this one:

Ha Ha! Good luck, boys!

***

Good news, everyone! I have found the perfect wedding cake!

And they make cupcakes too! Which are more fashionable these days.

Rating the Super Hunks #11: Dick Grayson

You knew this one was coming. This week Super Hunk theatre presents the pin-up pretty boy of the DCU...

Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing

Costume/Appearance: Little Dick Grayson. He grew up. He filled out. He got hot...eventually.

The current Nightwing costume is great. Really nice-looking. Nice colours, nice lines, nice fit. Also, great hair. I have no complaints about the current Nightwing costume. Or the appearance of the man filling it.

But we can't ignore the fact that it took Dick a loooong time to get there. And we had to see some pretty disgusting incarnations of Nightwing first.

No.


No.

No.

Super no.

Alright, that last one wasn't technically a Nightwing costume, but Jesus. If you can stand it, take some time to really study that thing. You'll notice that, as well as high-waisted baggy jeans, a short-sleeve polka-dot Oxford, Achy Breaky hair and intensely hairy arms, Dick is wearing loafers with no socks. You can stand in front of all the Ferraris you want and you will never look good wearing that.

I also abhor that long, disgusting rat-tail thing that Dick was rocking for awhile. It's so gross. It's like a serpent. I also never understood why it was way longer than his hair was when it wasn't pulled back. *shudder*

But if we focus on the now, and ignore the past, Dick is a looker.

8/10

Personality: I'm not sure how to put this lightly, but Dick Grayson is kinda...dumb. Or, if not dumb, he is lacking common sense. And he thinks with his manhood more than his brain, rivaling even Hal Jordan in this department (uh, the thinking part...I don't know about the manhood part). For a kid who grew up under the constant watch and teachings of Batman, Dick is a bit of a disappointment. I mean, he's a good leader and strategist, but overall...

On the positive side, Dick still retains a lot of the playful boyishness that we knew and loved in him as Robin. Again, considering his being raised by Bruce Wayne, having any kind of sense of humour is impressive. And he's, y'know, a nice guy who wants to help people.

Remember when he was partnered with that gay cop, and the other mean cops were beating up the gay cop, and Dick intervened? And when the mean cops asked Dick if he was his boyfriend or something, Dick said "What if I am?" That was nice. He gets a point for that.

I like Dick Grayson. I like him a lot. But he ain't no Tim Drake. And he is certainly these two things:

1. Boring
2. Horny

He gets a lot of play. A LOT of play:

Even when he looks like this:

Dude, we're just as surprised as you are.

The fact that Nightwing is one of the most sexually active superheroes out there certainly earns him some points in the hunk department. And the fact that I can now look at him without throwing up certainly helps. He's not...great...with women. But look at who he had as a teacher.

7/10

Day Job: Dick Grayson was a City of Blundhaven police officer. I think that's awesome. That means when he's not fighting crime...he's fighting crime.

But now he's just Nightwing. Oh...he runs a circus school. That's...not really all that sexy.

8/10

Sexiness of Powers: Dick has no powers, but he was trained by Batman. And, before that, he was trained as one of the top circus acrobats in the world. The result is that he rules at fighting, and can do crazy aerial stunts. He's strong and graceful. Of course that's sexy.

Plus, he's apparently the only person in the world who can do a quadruple somersault.

10/10

Cons: Dick Grayson's name is 'Dick.' I'm taking one point off for that. I'm also deducting points for his tendency to grow his hair badly, the fact that his comic is pretty boring, and for jerking Barbara Gordon around.

-4

Final Score: 29/40

He's sexy alright, but he'll always just be sidekick sexy. Plus, Tim Drake is going to grow up to look exactly like him, but way more awesome. Why have hamburger when you can wait a few years for steak?