Monday, May 19, 2008

Rating The Super Hunks #19: Iron Fist (Daniel Rand)

Time to revisit one of my favourite features here at LBW. It's been awhile since I've rated a superhunk, and it isn't because I've lost interest in hunky superheroes. Believe me. Let's take a look at the sexiest man this side of K'un L'un...

DANNY RAND, AKA THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST

Costume/Appearance: The classic Iron Fist costume has all the makings of a typical douchebag club outfit. Most noticeably, we have a giant chest tattoo of a dragon, exposed by an open shirt, and a massive popped collar. Danny's costume also boldly includes trendy elements from female fashion such as capri-cut leggings, ballet flats, and a ribbon belt. Add to that a pretty crazy facemask with long ribbon tails flying off the end, paint the whole outfit lime green and canary yellow, and you have a look that's so insane it has to be respected.

And you know what's sexy? A big glowing fist.

Under the hood, Danny Rand is the super hero that most closely resembles my real life boyfriend. Slim, blonde, giant chest tattoo (I'm kidding). He's a good-looking guy.

Small build for a super-hero, particularly when standing next to his massive pal, Power Man. But he's, y'know, approachable-looking. Not really hunky or macho, or even dreamy, but he's cute. And his fist glows so he's always well-lit.

8/10

Personality: See, normally I see a wealthy white guy who is really into Asian stuff and I think "what a douche" and walk away. But Danny makes it work.

Danny had a somewhat unconventional childhood. And by unconventional, I mean his wealthy father took him to a mythical city as a boy to study martial arts. During this family vacation, Danny witnessed the horrible deaths of both of his parents. He ended up sticking around and mastering martial arts, eventually obtaining the power of the Iron Fist by ramming his fist into the heart of a dragon. Despite these seemingly traumatic events, Danny is very well-balanced and laid back. I would attribute this to the fact that he: a) is incredibly wealthy, and b) can punch through pretty much anything with his big glowing fist.

I know what you're thinking: the heir to a family fortune who witnessed the deaths of his parents and then learned the hell out of martial arts before returning to America? Sounds a lot like Batman. Yeah, except you could actually hang out with Danny Rand for more than five minutes without wanting to kill yourself. You can party with Danny. He's a fun guy. Maybe it's because he's a Marvel, maybe it's because he was created in the seventies (aka - the party decade), but Iron Fist is an enjoyable character. And he has cool friends.

9/10

Day Job: He inherited his dad's company and now he's crazy rich. Despite this, he charged for his superhero services as one of the Heroes for Hire. Is that weird?

Hey, y'know what was sexy? When Danny Rand was Daredevil for awhile. That was cool.

8/10

Sexiness of Super Powers: Big. Glowing. Fist.

10/10

Cons: From reading Power Man and Iron Fist comics, the New Avengers, and even from reading the current Iron Fist series I don't get a sense that Danny is the brightest bulb in the Marvel universe.

He's not a detective, really. And he'd kinda dull. And he maybe shouldn't stand next to his very tall and attractive friend Power Man all the time.

- 3


FINAL SCORE: 33/40


Not bad, Fist! That actually places you ahead of Daredevil, which seems highly unlikely. I guess when you don't leave a trail of dead girlfriends in your wake, it helps you score higher as a hunk.

And now I leave you with an unintentionally sexy panel:

14 comments:

SallyP said...

Oh goodie, I've missed the Super Hunks. On the other hand...Danny Rand?

Well, he's ok. He's nice looking, and on the lean side, instead of being insanely muscular which is nice. And the glowing fist of power seems to be a handy thing to have. Misty Knight is his girlfriend which is rather cool.

But I just can't help thinking that he's a little on the dorky side. I guess it's the outfit. All it would really take is for one bad guy to grab those trailing streamers on his mask and SPLAT!

devilsgrip said...

Also, he's got his own Motorhead song. I think that's worth a point or two.

chris said...

This reminds me that I have to pick up the Essential PM/IF at some point. Great, great 80s comics!

ThePariah said...

Yay, SuperHunks returns! :D

Derek said...

I ask you, Sally, what's wrong with being a little on the dorky side?

He can't be docked for that. If anything, dorkiness should gain you points.

SallyP said...

But Derek...he wears BALLET shoes!

ALAN said...

but he can kick through a brick wall while wearing them..that's pretty cool right?

Adam said...

"I guess when you don't leave a trail of dead girlfriends in your wake, it helps you score higher as a hunk."

That, my dear, is hilarious (and true).

and he does have his own Motorhead song and that does deserve a few extra points.

Chryse said...

Glad that Super Hunks is back!

When are you going to get to Roy Harper?

rachelle said...

Oh man...Roy will be soon. I promise. I've got a bunch of hunks on deck for the upcoming weeks. I just wanted to do a few Marvels because I have been so DC-heavy with the superhunks.

SallyP said...

There's a REASON for that, Rachelle!

Viagra said...

Iron Fist... he ain't one of my favorites, mainly because hes abilities linger in his hands. tie him up and he's screwed

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It will not really have success, I feel this way.

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