This Week's Haul: Brand New Day

Blah. I had an 8.5 hour operations management class today. My brain is fried. Time for comics!

The Amazing Spider-Man #546

I LOVED THIS!

One More Day was terrible beyond words. It was actually a giant insult to comic readers everywhere, as far as I'm concerned. But this issue of the all-new Spider-Man was excellent. Peter Parker is a lovable loser, it's funny, he has a secret identity, he's friends with Harry Osborne, he's single, he's broke...it's great.

Scenes like this one, where Peter is looking for a job, are so enjoyable:

Oh, Spider-Man. It's so nice to laugh out loud while reading your comics, and know that the writer wants me to.

So while One More Day was just awful, at least it led to this. Even if it took the laziest route possible.

Now if I could just think about this comic without getting that damn Sting song in my head.

Green Lantern Corps #20

I loved this because it TOTALLY sounded like Guy and Kyle decided to get married.

They have, in fact, decided to move to Oa together. And Guy is going to open a bar there! I think this is a fun development.

I love how Hal and John are all "Wow, that's a big decision. Are you guys sure? When did you decide this?" Totally sounds like they're getting married.

Hee!

Green Arrow/Black Canary #4

This issue was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, obviously it looked fantastic. Chiang's art is so good that it can even make scenes as goofy as this one look amazing:

The hero who is panicking and yelling at everyone because a loved one is on the brink of death story line is nothing new, but there was something extra touching about Ollie losing it on everyone over Connor. Especially when Hal got there.

Awwwww.

And then Black Lightning makes a fairly sensible observation:

I would think that, being a member of Meltzer's Justice League, he wouldn't even notice that anymore.

Wally's comment here confused me:

Arthur is in the water? Really? Where? What's his status? I thought he was dead. Or whatever.

So Connor isn't dead. But he is brain dead. You can still be hot when you're brain dead right?

Nightwing #140

Saaaay...this was good! Rags Morales serves up some great-looking art, and Tomasi gives us a story that's kinda like Nightwing: Brand New Day.

Nightwing is making some changes. He's making an HQ for himself in New York, for one:

Look at how nice that art is!

I loved this meeting between Batman and the two boys about family always coming first:

Oh, Batman.

The Nightwing title has a long, proud tradition of being very boring, but I really liked this issue. I look forward to more!

Marvel Adventures Hulk #7

This was totally awesome as always. I know there was that other big Hulk comic out this week, but I would advise everyone to buy this one instead. I mean, if you like Hulk. Like, regular Hulk being Hulk. But maybe you guys aren't interested in fun adventure stories full of the greatest Marvel characters. Maybe you want Hulk to be red.

I mean, check this out: Bruce Banner wants to step in and help out the Silver Surfer, so he asks Rick to punch him. Rick refuses. Hilarity ensues:

Jeph Loeb can't write funny like that, people!

Superman #672


All I want to say about this is that I hate insects. They are gross.

Ew.

The Spirit #12

Ohhhhhhhh...why did this have to be so good? The last Spirit comic by Darwyn Cooke and J. Bone and it was so damn perfect that now I'm all upset.

Why does this have to end but Marvel Zombies continues?! It's not fair!

I want a Cooke-designed Spirit action figure. Anyone else?

Scalped #13


This is the first issue of a new arc and it was AWESOME. I think this might be the best storyline yet. Although, really it is all one long storyline. I hope everyone is reading this series by now. You can buy the first trade with a money back guarantee! Do it! (I'll bet they get exactly zero books back from unsatisfied customers).

Teen Titans Lost Annual

Oh man. Bob Haney + Jay Stephens + Team Allred + JFK = the best.

I am pretty vocal about my love for the late, great Bob Haney. Nobody can write insanity like that man could. Sadly, he never got to see this comic before he died. Happily, the rest of us have finally gotten that opportunity.

JFK is kidnapped by aliens who believe his leadership skills will help them win a war on their planet. He is replaced by a shape-shifting alien. Robin notices. The Titans go to the distant planet to help win the war so the president can return to Earth. While all this is going on, the president is assassinated...on Earth...as in, it's actually the shape shifter who is famously killed, not the real JFK. The real Kennedy decides that the shock of revealing that he is actually still alive would be too much for Earth to handle (??!!...so his wife and son can just deal with the loss, I guess). He decides to return to the far away planet, where he continues to live happily.

Bob Haney is the greatest writer of all time. And this panel alone proves it:

Yeah, that's definitive Haney right there.

The art looks really great. The cover is beautiful. There's a lovely Nick Cardy sketchbook in the back.

Showcase Presents Robin The Boy Wonder

Trust me. You want this. If you don't own it you are missing out on heartwarming classic tales like this one:

Ha Ha! Good luck, boys!

***

Good news, everyone! I have found the perfect wedding cake!

And they make cupcakes too! Which are more fashionable these days.

Sometimes Batman Doesn't Punch Animals.

So we all know that Batman likes to beat up on animals.

But he doesn't always beat them up. Sometimes he's very sweet and gentle toward them. And I found proof:

Awwww.

Later that same issue...

Oh dear.

But ye gods that panel is awesome. Seriously. Look at it. Look at it forever.

Gigantic Fun with the Super Sons!

Woah, what's going on here?

Man, that sounds great! Let's have a look inside!

Jive talking?! Tandem motorcycling?! It can only be the Super Sons! Let's see what those crazy cats get up to this time.

Y'know, sometimes a hero will say 'clown' and mean it to be a derogatory description for a crook. But sometimes he actually means 'clown.'

So why were those clowns slapping you around, doll?

Once again I find myself momentarily forgetting that these are the sons of Superman and Batman, and not Superman and Batman proper. Because that would be really funny. As it is, I just hate these guys.

"So, I see you were getting assaulted there. That must have really shaken you up. How about a kiss?"

Ok, so Superman and Batman jrs volunteer to fill in for the two thugs in Dora's play...or whatever. So off they go to a maximum security prison in the Mystery Machine.

Man, Superman's son gives me the jeeblies.

And speaking of the jeeblies, wait until you see this play:

I guess prisoners accept anything as entertainment.

Things get crazy after this. Dora turns out to be Lex Luthor's daughter, Ardora, born on Lexor while Lex was off the planet. Everybody is surprised by this information, and next thing we know Supes and Bats jrs are chasing Luthor and daughter into space after Dora springs her dad out of prison and brings him back to Lexor. Supes is heartbroken, and continues to harbour a crush on Dora.

Then Superman Jr comes down with a lightning-fast case of Gigantism, which ends when he gets bitten by a giant lizard. Cause, y'know. There was only one page left to wrap everything up on.

Batman's quote there is almost a haiku. A crazy, crazy haiku.

Ok, I think my favourite thing about this whole comic is the final panel. Ardora decides she was wrong to hurt the Super Sons, and that her father does deserve to face justice for his crimes on Earth. So she forces him onto a spaceship with our heroes at gunpoint. Now that you're up-to-date, here's the final panel:

Luthor smiling and waving kills me. He's in good spirits for a man who just had a gun pointed at his back by his own daughter. "Bye-bye! See you when I get out of prison! Oh, Superman and Batman jrs, this will be a fun roadtrip back to Earth! I brought granola bars and Justin Timberlake!"

Please, everyone buy a copy of the Saga of the Super-Sons trade that DC is releasing in December. Because we all need to have 256 collected pages of these guys. If you don't love this delicious Haney goodness, then you don't love life.

Bob Haney Rules Week: Closing Ceremonies

It is with a heavy heart that I write this, the final post in Bob Haney Rules Week.

I just read Brave and the Bold #138.

The world's two greatest escape artists? Awesome!

Batman talks a lot like Dean Martin in this book:



And he wears an extra-long cape, it seems.

The best thing about this story, though, is that it leads to this:

If I were the bad guy I would have taken an extra minute to remove Batman's belt as well. Anyway, this is all very awkward and embarrassing for Mr Miracle. He's not happy:

I love that. Batman's all, "Now just relax, Scott. What's your hurry? Let's try to make the most of a bad situation here..."

Actually, Batman is basically useless throughout this entire story. He's lucky he has Mr Miracle along.

Mr Miracle busts out of that net, without clothing, and yells an awesome threat at the villain. And Batman...sits and swings like a market cheese.

Well, he did offer this piece of expert detective work:

And that, my friends, is why he's the World's Greatest Detective.

(And, really, who doesn't engrave their name on their pickaxe?).

You shut your mouth, Batman! This is a Haney comic and it can and WILL work! Be gone with your scientific reasoning and pesky facts! There is no room for them here in Haneytown! I'll not have you spoiling my fun!

Alright. So there you have it. Bob Haney rules. I'm not saying that I forgive him for the Super Sons, but...well, maybe that is what I'm saying. Here's a bonus panel from the Saga of the Super Sons that I left out of my post about them:

Bruce Wayne: father of the year.