Sunday, August 26, 2007

Gigantic Fun with the Super Sons!

Woah, what's going on here?

Man, that sounds great! Let's have a look inside!

Jive talking?! Tandem motorcycling?! It can only be the Super Sons! Let's see what those crazy cats get up to this time.

Y'know, sometimes a hero will say 'clown' and mean it to be a derogatory description for a crook. But sometimes he actually means 'clown.'

So why were those clowns slapping you around, doll?

Once again I find myself momentarily forgetting that these are the sons of Superman and Batman, and not Superman and Batman proper. Because that would be really funny. As it is, I just hate these guys.

"So, I see you were getting assaulted there. That must have really shaken you up. How about a kiss?"

Ok, so Superman and Batman jrs volunteer to fill in for the two thugs in Dora's play...or whatever. So off they go to a maximum security prison in the Mystery Machine.

Man, Superman's son gives me the jeeblies.

And speaking of the jeeblies, wait until you see this play:

I guess prisoners accept anything as entertainment.

Things get crazy after this. Dora turns out to be Lex Luthor's daughter, Ardora, born on Lexor while Lex was off the planet. Everybody is surprised by this information, and next thing we know Supes and Bats jrs are chasing Luthor and daughter into space after Dora springs her dad out of prison and brings him back to Lexor. Supes is heartbroken, and continues to harbour a crush on Dora.

Then Superman Jr comes down with a lightning-fast case of Gigantism, which ends when he gets bitten by a giant lizard. Cause, y'know. There was only one page left to wrap everything up on.

Batman's quote there is almost a haiku. A crazy, crazy haiku.

Ok, I think my favourite thing about this whole comic is the final panel. Ardora decides she was wrong to hurt the Super Sons, and that her father does deserve to face justice for his crimes on Earth. So she forces him onto a spaceship with our heroes at gunpoint. Now that you're up-to-date, here's the final panel:

Luthor smiling and waving kills me. He's in good spirits for a man who just had a gun pointed at his back by his own daughter. "Bye-bye! See you when I get out of prison! Oh, Superman and Batman jrs, this will be a fun roadtrip back to Earth! I brought granola bars and Justin Timberlake!"

Please, everyone buy a copy of the Saga of the Super-Sons trade that DC is releasing in December. Because we all need to have 256 collected pages of these guys. If you don't love this delicious Haney goodness, then you don't love life.


Chris McLaren said...

Does every trade come with a giant spliff? 'cuz I'm thinking that you would need to be a little herbalized to really understand the story logic.

Josh Elder said...

The Super-Sons are the best thing about the Silver Age outside "Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen."

This is undeniable fact.

Siskoid said...

Don't worry, they had me at "Haney".

SallyP said...


My God, this is fantastic! And look...they've got the Scooby mobile to drive in!

Gyuss Baaltar said...

So the only way to tell the Super-sons apart from their parents is the way they talk?

Luke said...

I own this book! It also features a one page story where sleepy, cross-eyed Superman explains that juvenile court isn't always a bad thing.

Josh Elder said...

What really kills me about these stories (and I've read at least a dozen or more) are how pervy Supes Jr. and Bats Jr. really are.

They're always after "the fine females" and making wildly inappropriate comments in Haney's twisted pseudo-slang. It's unsettlingly awesome.

FoldedSoup said...

It's the bee's knees, Daddio! Straight outta Coolsville. And I'm hep to it!

(Nice to have you back, by the way!)

Johnathan said...

It is definitely gear and ginchy.

Mike said...

sooo... Haney just wanted to write about Batman and Superman as swinging adventurers but DC wouldn't let him, so he came up with the Super Sons as an outlet for this?

Luke said...

Crosseye Superman from the same issue.

Bill D. said...

Oh, jeez, if there's one thing I don't want to think about, it's Superman, Jr. feeling a warm thing.

Caleb said...

Wow, great to have you back online Rachelle!

Did the fact that the people in the costumes look like giants have something to do with the gigantism disease? Or is Ardora just super dainty?

Who was it that loved the hell out of this story and made villains in Kingdom Come Gog and Magog, Alex Ross or Mark Waid?

And when is Grant Morrison going to write a story where Chris Kent and Damian Wayne become the Super Sons?

Johnathan said...

Eh - Kingdom Come Gog and Magog are likely unrelated to anything Haney and rather o the biblical/British mythical nations/giants.

Anonymous said...

That girl must have a damn tight top if it shows off her abs.

Viagra said...

The Silver Age is full or weird stuff... The sons of Superman and Batman, being pals and riding a motorcycle...didn't this Batman Jr inherit anything from Bruce?