This Week's Haul: Badness Happening in Tangent

So, I don't really want to get into the two comics in too much detail, but there was a very specific problem happening with Justice League of America and Countdown Arena this week. Consider first the infinitely unlikely coincidence of any Tangent comics character being referenced twice in one week. Now let's add the improbability that the same Tangent character is being used in two separate series...and that one of these comics completely contradicts the events of the other. I mean, I don't care to see the Tangent comics Flash in any of my books, but I certainly don't want her to be teaming up with the JLA in one book, and dying horribly in another at the exact same time. I mean, really, what are the odds that the same RIDICULOUSLY obscure character is being used twice in one week, and that they can't even get THAT to sync up?!

In related news, I dropped JLA from my pull list this week. I gave it a more than fair chance, and this issue was beyond terrible. Never in my wildest dreams would I expect to drop a JLA comic written by Dwayne McDuffie, but here we are.

And since I am waxing cranky about DC anyway, I'd also like to voice my disappointment of a complete lack of Christmas-themed comic this year. Oh, except the TERRIBLE issue of Detective Comics, which wrapped up the Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul with this drippy panel:

Yargh. I almost barfed on my comic, which would have reduced its condition to poor and I would not have been able to return it to the store.

But seriously, DC. Nothing? Last year you guys had that great Xmas issue of JLU, and then the half decent Infinite Christmas Holiday special, PLUS a festive issue of 52. And this year not even a festive installment of Countdown?! What's wrong with the DCU? It's a world of dread and fear, where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears. Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

And don't think you're getting away easy, either Marvel! What If Civil War?! That's not even a question! And the inside was, like, what if Civil War was written correctly the first time. But with much worse art, at least in the second story.

The Marvel Christmas Special was, however, very fun. Particularly the first story.

I'm in a bad mood because I took home a very large stack of comics and enjoyed very few of them. But, hey. It wasn't all bad. Let's look at some others:

The Immortal Iron Fist #11

Now THIS was an awesome comic!

This must be the funnest comic to write. Particularly this storyline, with the kung-fu matches happening in every issue, complete with crazy awesome names for every move.

And the bad guys are just so evil. I love it!

This series rules so much because its pretty much the lone representative on the shelves currently of a very classic genre of pulp entertainment. And it's a really, really good representative. It's kinda like The Spirit in that way. I feel when I am reading it that it's a labour of love for everyone involved.

Catwoman #74

I love this series, but why oh why must it constantly be tying into events? Particularly events that I have no interest in? If any comic should just be allowed to stand alone, it's this one. I get that they want to make Catwoman kinda badass again. This issue had her cutting off all her hair to symbolize her return to...I dunno...pre-One Year Later, I suppose. Forget everything you thought you knew and enjoyed about Selina Kyle, because now she's childless and being magically transported to Salvation Run! Why? I am guessing her books aren't selling well enough. Which is too bad because its an excellent series, and was actually the best post-Crisis book going, for my money. But thank God they are doing away with all those pesky character developments that I have been very excited about for the past year and a half or so. Why stop at this reduction? Let's just stuff her in the purple costume again and have Doug Moench write her.

Argh. Sorry. I trust in Pfeifer to maintain the awesomeness of this comic through whatever muck the higher ups at DC decide to drag it through, because he's done a good job so far. I'm just frustrated because I love this series so much, and Selina Kyle is one of my all-time favourite fictional characters. This issue was good, and the art was beautiful as always, but I just wish it could be left alone. I guess I should be thankful that it wasn't part of the Ra's Al Ghul crossover.

Birds of Prey #113

Sean McKeever makes his debut, and it's a loud one! He decides to kick off his run with a giant disaster which occurs on the BoP's watch. A big ol' chunk of Metropolis gets blown up. It's not good:

Barbara gets a strip torn off her from Superman:

I think it's an interesting direction for the series. Now the team is fighting to get back in Superman's good books. The writing was great, even though it understandably needed to include a number of quick character introductions to get new readers up-to-speed. I really enjoyed Tony Bedard's short run on this, but I'm excited to see what McKeever's got planned.

Incredible Hulk #112

Marvel wins this week because I really enjoyed this comic too. The art, by Khoi Pham and Stephane Peru, was really excellent.

I'm really enjoying the team-up of Hercules and this Amadeus kid. They are a lot of fun together.


Superman #671

All I really want to say about this comic is how much I love this panel:

Ahahahaha! He looks like Beaker!


Superman/Batman #44

Can you believe this series is up to issue #44 already? I do love that bold cover, though, of Superman busting right through Batman, ripping him clean in half.

I'm not going to lie to you...I was looking forward to this issue because I could not wait to make fun of it. After Michael Green's absolutely absurd run on Batman Confidential, I was expecting nothing less than side-splitting unintentional hilarity out of this book. I wasn't disappointed. But I also didn't hate it in the way I thought I would. It actually captured my heart, much like my beloved Smallville: it's so stupid, it's almost charming.

It opens with Superman and Batman secretly watching over the filming of a Superman/Batman movie (directed, apparantly, by Jeph Loeb).

They are using real Kryptonite on the set as a prop for "realism." That's fine, except this comic also works in Smallville continuity, meaning that Kryptonite causes mutations in many humans. So...if that were the case...they probably wouldn't be using it on the set of a movie. It wouldn't be all that safe.

Anyway, Livewire shows up and does her thing, which causes Kryptonite shards to fly everywhere, including into Superman's face and eye.

So he goes down, and Flash shows up. Except Flash is a TOTAL DOUCHE! He just keeps ribbing Supes for being taken down by a "second-stringer" like Livewire. But, seriously, Superman has a face full of Kryptonite and he is dying. And Flash is being all "Man, I am never going to let you live this down." It's jarringly out-of-character for ol' Wally.

Anyway, they get Superman to the Fortress of Solitude, and Batman shows up with Alfred so he can remove the Kryptonite. Could they have taken Superman to the Batcave and it would have been easier for everyone? Yes. Of course.

Superman does some thinking over the next few days, and then recruits Batman to help him rid the world of all Kryptonite. The issue ends with them realizing that there is an awful lot of it to round up. Good thing they have five more issues.

Metamorpho Year One #6

This comic had that thing that I love where superheroes team up to mess with people's heads!

The JLA totally shows up in this issue and disguises themselves as bad guys so Metamorpho will fight them and show them what he's got. I love that stuff!

And Batman...did nothing.

This was a great ending to a very fun mini-series. Well done! But I'm still not reading Outsiders!

***Speaking of The Outsiders, Geo-Force got traded in this week's issue. He's no longer a JLA member. Can they just do that? "Hey, Geo-Force...pack your desk. You're moving to the Outsiders."

Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #31

I will buy anything with David Hahn art. Plus, I loves me some Marvel Adventures comics.

This was written by Kirsten Sinclair, who I admit I am unfamiliar with. The issue is a lot of fun. The FF go shopping! And The Thing gets a facial!

It's very funny and the art, of course, is beautiful. Do check it out.

All done! My scanner wasn't working all week, but I got it up and running again. So the posts should be flowing on a more regular basis. Comments are welcome. We can talk about anything...like how rad Grendel is, or how much I wish next week's comics...which are going to RULE...we're going to be late. Stupid holidays.

This Week's Haul: Featuring That Guy From the Cover of Action Comics #1

Well, what a surprise. This week the reviews are late again. But this time it wasn't my fault! For some reason I am having a hell of a time uploading photos to Blogger. I don't know if that's my internet connection's fault, or Blogger, but it certainly is slowing me down.

Let's get down to it:

Action Comics # 857

Y'know, it really doesn't get much more fun than this.

The Bizarro Justice League showed up at the end of the last issue, and I could not wait to see more of them. I was not disappointed. Check out Bizarro Batman:

And Bizarro Green Lantern:

Oh man, I hope he shows up in Sinestro Corps.

Bizarro is able to use his "Bizarro Vision" to make more Bizarros. So he makes more league members, which is awesome:

That Green Arrow kills me. I kept that second panel on there because I love Lex's sinister, backwards "Hello."

Superman develops a new power: "Superman Vision," which gives Pa Kent super powers. It's great:

I really loved the reaction of the Bizarro citizens of Metropolis when Superman goes about fixing up their city:

Especially that guy with the noose. So great.

The art, of course, was beautiful and hilarious throughout the book. This issue ends Eric Powell's run, which is sad. I am really looking forward to the Gary Frank run that starts next week, though.

Here's a parting shot of Bizarro Action Comics #1:

Fabulous.

Superman #669

Although I feel that Busiek's run on Superman has been largely underrated, mostly due to the tall shadow cast by All-Star Superman, I just cannot bring myself to care about this storyline.

Who Is The Third Kryptonian? Well, there are three right there on the cover. Oh, you mean besides them. And Power Girl. And, like, the dead Supergirl. And Zod. And the rest.

Also, the third Kryptonian, as it turns out, is someone I have never heard of and don't care about. So there is really no excuse for this hideous cover. I mean, she seems like a cool lady and everything, but...with all the cool stuff going on in the DCU right now, I just cannot possibly care about this.

Superman/Batman #41

This comic will make fanfic writers blush. It's just so damn porny. And I'm not just talking about the cover. Which I COULD be.

So last we left our heroes, Superman was being controlled by Darkseid and Batman was really, really horny. This is thanks to Orion's slutty wife, Bekka.

As it turns out, she has this curse where men are uncontrollably attracted to her, and she feels the same way toward them. The sadder the men are inside, the stronger the connection, thus Orion and now Batman. Plus, she doesn't really wear any clothes, so that can't help. If she really didn't want this to keep happening, she might try a sweatsuit. Or a Mayor McCheese costume or something. Anyway, she has poor Batman in her clutches. He reminds us that he is "aroused beyond all reason" (!!!) in her presence. She says that the only cure...is doin' it. For real.

When she gets that feeling, she needs sexual healing.

*snort* "I haven't felt a heart as hardened as his until I met you." Uh, say what?

Oh poor Batman. The only way he can solve his problems is to nail that beautiful woman. Batman's all "Well, alright then...NO! No I can't!" Frankly I don't see why not. Just get it done and move on. I'm tired of hearing about it.

But Batman is noble and exercises self-discipline, as usual. The result is that Bekka gets herself killed.

Wow. I think that basically counts as a refridgerator, right?

Batman can't solve all his problems by sexing them. He still needs to find Superman. I guess we'll resolve that in the next issue.

Let's get to the good stuff. Superman is experiencing a semi-dream state where his life is flashing before his eyes. All sorts of crazy characters from the past are popping up. It's great! Check it out:

Love that Starro!

But wait, it gets better:

Yeah, that's right. More than one reference to that guy from the cover of Action #1 in the same week! Also...Zebra Batman!

And look at what Superman is wearing! Customized hospital gown!!! So cute!

I think this story wraps up in the next issue. Then the guy who is writing the current TERRIBLE arc on Batman Confidential is taking over for another unnecessarily long six-issue story. So it continues to not look good for this series.

So, this was a pretty ridiculous issue. The best part was probably when American Idol judge Randy Jackson sneaked up on Desaad:

Teen Titans #52

Teen Titans is now officially a better book than JLA. Crazy times we live in.

Two issues in, I am saying right now that Sean McKeever is going to rock this thing. I already love the way he writes all of the characters, and jumping right into this crazy story that features the current JLA and future versions of the Titans themselves is fantastic fun. Thumbs up.

I mean, just look at this page! Solid gold:

And this is the last page:

Last issue ended with Robin pointing a gun at his own head, and this month we get this. Not bad, McKeever. Not bad.

I've added this title to my pull list, and I don't think I've ever had it on there before. Teens!

Green Lantern Corps #17

That is one of the busiest covers I have ever seen in my life. Ask me tomorrow what is on the cover of this week's Green Lantern Corps. I will say "I don't remember. A big mess?"

Inside, the battle between good and evil rages...at a molasses pace. How many times have we been told "Lethal Force Activated," or, "They're heading for New York City"?

Anyway, the important thing is that Kilawog crushes a guy with an AIRCRAFT CARRIER:

And Sodam Yat (aka - So Damn Hot) gets a promotion:

And a terrible new haircut.

Next up: Ion vs Superman Prime!

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Superman Prime

I wasn't so hot for the first two Tales of the Sinestro Corps comics, but when I saw that Geoff Johns was writing this one, I picked it up.

And I'm glad I did. Superboy(man?) Prime is just a really fun villain because he is so damn childish. I have really been enjoying him througout Sinestro Corps, as I did during Infinite Crisis. Johns clearly loves writing him.

SB Prime visits the Bart Allan memorial, and is a total dick:

Beyond this, though, we get a really nice back story for this notorious guy. One that actually makes you feel sorry for him. More importantly, we get a very clear and easy-to-understand origin story, and I applaud everyone involved for that alone.

Man, that kid is messed up.

Blue Beetle #20

I'm just going to say it: this issue really confused me.

I love this series, and I love the Sinestro Corps cross-over, but this just did not work for me.

Basically Peacemaker gets turned into this guy, thanks to a combination of a scarab and a Sinestro Corps ring:

And Blue Beetle has to fight him. I guess that's pretty straightforward, but I was still confused.

Some of the GL Corps show up, which is entertaining:

Oh, and Peacemaker dies at the end. It's sad. And sudden.

I enjoyed Jaime more in Teen Titans this week than in his own title.

Green Arrow Year One #6

And thus ends a very excellent mini-series. Well done, guys.

Not only is this a gritty and exciting read with fantastic art, it gives a very believable origin story for Green Arrow. Not that I require realism in my origin stories, but for someone like Green Arrow, whose abilities start and stop with being really good at shooting arrows, it's kinda nice.

He's totally badass and tough, which makes us see what Black Canary sees in the guy:

Also badass, a pregnant lady with a machine gun:

I could have lived without the Oliver-delivering-a-baby scene at the end, but whatever.

X-Men First Class #5

Hey, it's my new favourite comic!

This time they run into the Hulk, with hilarious results:

This has a nice little Hulk origin, which is one of the great things about this series. New readers can learn about other Marvel characters as the first class of the X-Men run into them for the first time. It's brilliant.

There are some really great Hulk facial expressions in this issue. The art, as usual, is great:

And Angel, as usual, is very funny:

I guess what I mean is, Jeff Parker, as usual, is very funny.

And if that's not enough, there's another adorable Colleen Coover back-up in this issue. I will show you the first panel, because that will be enough to hook you:

If you aren't reading this comic, you're a damn fool. Add it to your pull list right now.

The Flash #233


Wally totally throws down in this issue. It's awesome. The rest of the JLA shows up at his house for a little group intervention. They are concerned about the way Wally is leading his kids into battle:

Wally's like "Hey, I have an idea: shut up!" He thinks they are trying to physically take his kids away. Which is understandable, based on Superman's choice of words. Roy sets him straight, and then Wally totally serves Batman:

Ohhhhh snap, Wally!

Then Wally and Linda explain their reasoning, which is pretty solid. It certainly shuts the JLA up, anyway:

I love how Batman's all "Ok, cool, my bad," and backs away slowly.

That's a nice group hug.

Daredevil #101

Man, this was so, so depressing. And awesome.

Milla's in a prison hospital after killing someone she pushed into an oncoming subway car. Matt Murdock is looking very tired and haggard, which can be owed to the fact that he spends his days fighting his wife's case, and his nights beating the holy hell out of criminals while trying to find Mr Fear. Fear is responsible for Milla's drug-induced insanity, and Matt gonna make him pay.

But until then, he's gonna brood like a pro.

Good thing Dakota is totally rad and isn't gonna take it. This scene is really satisfying:

I love that. "Duh, you're Daredevil. Just break into her room and be with her, dummy."

So he does. And it's heartbreakingly sweet:

I love this series so much, and I love Daredevil so much as a character, but he's such a train wreck. We know that he doesn't even really love Milla that much, but he just needs to be passionate about something every single moment of his life. He doesn't need to be with her, he just needs to care about something. This is a real downer of a comic book. And I love it.

Alright, that's all the comics I can stand to review. This photo uploading thing is super annoying. Hopefully it will go smoother next time.