Monday, November 05, 2007

Items from the 2007 Sears Wish Book that would have BLOWN MY MIND as a kid in the 80s

As with many kids, I loved the annual Sears Wish Book's massive toy section. Because this is the beginning of the Holiday shopping season, I thought I'd take a look at the latest Sears Wish Book (now online, of course). There are items in the toy section that my six-year-old self would never believe. At the time I was trying to wrap my brain around the impossible technology that was the Flintstone Phone (How does Barney know I am talking to him?! It's magic!).

Let's take a look at the 2007 Toys available to kids who don't know how good they've got it.

The 6 ft. Mega Giga Ball
It's mega! It's...giga?! It's a ball that can crush you! And you can CLIMB INSIDE IT! This is a terrifying toy. And fantastic. Mom and Dad will love inflating all 6 ft of this wonderful ball. Your friends will be jealous as you roll right on by the school bus. You won't need public transportation anymore! You've got your own ride!


This ain't your grandmother's talking robot bear (that would be Teddy Ruxpin). This panda will play games, wear you out, and tuck you in. Storytime? You know it! This panda will tell you stories that you won't believe! Because Robopanda can see the future. YOUR future! Robopanda will not only be your best friend, he will replace your parents in every way. Robopanda comes with his own panda. That is how awesome Robopanda is. Also: "Robopanda can be happy, shy or feisty. So treat him nicely." No one wants a feisty Robopanda.

Transformers Electronic Arcade Jet

Are you effing kidding me?

Why am I even considering any of the major video game consoles when, for a mere $129.99, I can have a video game JET that I can RIDE while I PLAY? It runs on only three D batteries! "Accompanied by real roaring engines and vibrating action, navigate your jet fighter through the battle zone." I would love to do that! There much be a catch!

"Holds up to 59 lbs."


iPod Docking Station with CD/CD+G Karaoke System

This. Is not. A toy.

My First Kenmore Peek-Inside Washer and Dryer

Kids love laundy! It's a fact! And they love stylish, trendy appliances! Especially ones that are made out of wood and don't do anything!

Parents - please do not buy your daughters a fake washer and dryer set for Christmas. If you do, you are the devil.


Roboquad will kill you in your sleep!

Note - you can set Roboquad's aggression level to 'high.' I am not kidding.

President Ronald W. Reagan Hosts State Reception 17" Doll

I think I'm going to let an excerpt from the catalogue description speak for me:

The Reagan presidency brought a sense of confidence, pride and prosperity to the nation and the beginning of a new world order.

Celebrate the accomplishments of the United States of America's fortieth president with this limited, numbered replica doll of Ronald Reagan. Reagan is dressed to the tee as he prepares to host a State Reception. Life-like and realistic, Reagan wears a tuxedo and stands approximately 17 inches tall.

Clearly this makes fun of itself.

Remote Control Mighty MegaSaurs - Dragon

Not only does this toy look awesome, but it impressively showed up when I did a search of 'girls' items in the catalogue. Nice!

Hasbro FurReal Friends Pony - Butterscotch

I guess that's cool.

Giant Plush T-Rex

Now we're talking!

Snugglers For Boys - Spider-Man

Did someone get the license plate of the truck that just ran over Spidey?

Mattel Barbie Girls - Bright Pink and Green Outfits

This is just an awesome labeling error.

Alright, I'm done. I guess I got a little distracted by crappy toys, and strayed from the topic which was supposed to be crazy toys of the future. Oh well.

The point is that the Sears Wish Book is still awesome.


Michael Jones said...

Does the Reagan doll come with a piano & Candelabrum? Or did they mislabel the Liberace doll?

John said...

All they had was Mego when I was a kid . . . no Robo Mego, sadly.

Mister Grimm said...

Whenever I am out shopping at a department store I always check out the toys before I go home.

Then I get upset when I walk through the aisles declaring out loud that I wish I could have had toys like this when I was younger.

Then I buy myself some Legos and I feel better.

It's okay to buy Legos when your 27 right?

John said...

I'd rather my nieces and nephews get play washer-dryers than a Ronald Reagan doll.

SallyP said...

GIANT T-REX! I would have killed for this.

David page said...

A ronald reagan doll....seriously?!?

Anonymous said...

Oh, I think the Reagan doll would be ok as long as you encouraged your kid to dress him up and put makeup on him, while speaking for him in a high pitched little voice at tea parties with the other dolls.

Anonymous said...

"Oh, I think the Reagan doll would be ok as long as you encouraged your kid to dress him up and put makeup on him, while speaking for him in a high pitched little voice at tea parties with the other dolls."

I was thinking it would be a hilarious toy for adults.

rachelle said...

I don't appreciate your split personality disorder, anonymous.

michael jones - i think they repackaged the Liberace doll.

mister grimm - If buying Legos when you're 27 is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

john II - as long as you're buying the washer/dryer for your nieces and nephews.

David said...

Thanks for the positive comment on my Jasman Mighty Megasaur Dragon. I just came across your blog post while checking to see if it was out on shelves yet. The dragon os one of a series I created for Jasman Co.


Viagra said...

The Reagan doll is just from another time frame... does 07 kids have a clue who is Ronald Reagan? I mean... i can't picture kids 20 years from now buying an Obama doll

Buy Cialis said...

jajajajaja president Reagan doll!!! that was so funny, roboaqud and robo panda are the perfect gift to children of tomorrow. said...

Well, I don't really think it may have success.