This Week's Haul: If I only had One More Day, I wouldn't waste it reading Spider-Man

The reviews are pretty late this week due to a combination of comics being late this week, and me being away for Friday and Saturday. But now the long wait is over.

I should mention quickly that the second podcast guest-starring me is up at The Dollar Bin. In this episode we discuss super hunks. So you can check that out here.

Alright, let's get this show on the road.

Metal Men #2

Metal Man always has been, and always will be, a very nerdy comic. And not even in the fantasy worlds and freaky alien peoples kinda way. In the way that you actually learn stuff, and if you happen to be a chemistry nerd, there are layers to the comic that only you will enjoy.

I have never been one for science. Basically anything I know about chemistry, I have learned from Metal Men comics: Mercury is liquid at room temperature, lead is heavy, and platinum is slutty.

Even though we would have nothing to say to each other, I have a pretty big crush on Will Magnus. I like guys named Magnus who build robots, and I like guys named Magnus who fight robots. It's a weakness.

Duncan Rouleau's Metal Men mini-series is so beautiful and so entertaining. When the ads said it was "exploding from the pages of Superman/Batman," I was a little worried. Nothing should explode from those pages...except my brain.

Anyway, like I say, this series is excellent. And very cute.

Look at Lead! So adorable! And look at Will! Equally adorable!

Buy this, read it, love it. I know it's science-heavy, but you can't possibly know less about science than I do, and I'm enjoying it immensely. Even if you just look at the covers it's worth it.

Outsiders #50

I am no fan of the Outsiders. Never have been. I don't care if Batman started it, they are still boring.

So imagine my surprise when I read this and really, really liked it. I haven't read any of the Five-of-a-Kind comics leading up to this, but I checked this out because it's written by Tony Bedard and had Batman on the cover. And it's the last issue of this series, as it now becomes Batman and The Outsiders.

I'll tell you what I really loved about issue #50: this guy:

Oh, Bruce. I love it when you play dress-up. Always good to see Matches.

I also really liked that the get-up didn't fool Catwoman for a second:

Also...Catwoman!

Woot! Ok, Outsiders. Sign me up for issue #1. You have my attention.

Supergirl #21

Sadly only one issue left after this one in the Bedard/Guedes run. I'm probably never going to be very interested in a Supergirl comic, but this run has been well-written and looks great. I have no complaints. Except the covers. I wish Guedes was doing them.

But look at the inside! Look at how bored she looks when Karate Kid chops her in the face!

That girl is tough. I like her and look forward to more of her Teen Titans adventures.

Jonah Hex #23

I read this last night just before I went to see 3:10 to Yuma, so it was a really excellent cowboy night all around.

I love every issue of this series, but I thought this one was especially awesome. The Jordi Bernet artwork certainly added to the awesome.

I really like the way he draws Hex. There have been many different levels of grossness in his face, depending on the artist. It ranges from it looking like raw hamburger, to just being a simple bridge of skin over his lip and a slightly larger right eye. I think Bernet strikes a perfect balance:

I really like the blank white eye. That's a nice touch. Hex should be hard to look at.

Anyway, excellent issue.

Countdown Week 34

I was happy that Piper and Trickster were the stars of this issue. Some JLA members finally caught up with them (most notably, Wally), and we start to get some answers:

Did anyone listen to the podcast (or go to the panel) of the Big Guns panel at ComicCon? It was pretty awkward to listen to, most notably because at one point someone asked why we're supposed to believe that Piper and Trickster are innocent when we clearly saw them beating Bart to death in The Flash? Paul Dini (I'm pretty sure it was him, anyway) answered by saying that, though they are doing their best, they aren't able to keep track of everything that is going on in every DC comic when they are plotting Countdown. This was the WRONG answer.

Dude. First of all, the correct answer to questions such as that, is always "Wait and see." Then your ass is covered while you go do your research or whatever and re-write stuff. Or so ten years down the line you can write a comic that reveals that the Piper and Trickster who beat Bart up were alternate Earth Piper and Trickster. Or whatever you want. The point is, it's a valid answer that does not reveal that you screwed up in any way. Because...seriously? I know you can't pay attention to every little detail of every comic, but the comic in which Bart Allan is murdered is probably worth a read.

Anyway, I didn't mean to go off on a whole thing there. I'm just saying, his answer surprised me. And disappointed me.

Black Canary Wedding Planner

That's just an adorable cover. Stephane Roux rocks.

Inside was fine. Was anyone else bothered by Green Arrow's flaming read hair? That was kinda weird. Also, I dunno. Maybe I just don't care about weddings. They should get married in the Watchtower. Hell, I would.

The All-New Atom #15

I was really glad to see this issue get away from the whole Countdown Jason/Donna/Monitor thing for a little bit so Ryan could fight some giant monsters. That was fun. I don't have anything in particular to say about this issue except it was, as always, very funny and great. And I want a Head action figure. That talks.

The Incredible Hulk #110

I thought this was pretty great. This whole series has had a lot of great "Woah! Neat!" moments, and this comic had a good one. Amadeus Cho, kid genius and Hulk fan, successfully argues that Hulk doesn't have the capability to kill anyone. It's pretty cool.

I am still really enjoying this series. It's so much more enjoyable than Endangered Species or One More Day (and, yes, I am making that call on OMD after only one issue).

I want Hulk to come around and stop trying to kill everyone, but not before he makes the heroes fight in that giant gladiator ring. Because that is going to RULE.

The Amazing Spider-Man #544

Well, this wasn't very good at all.

This really grossed me out:

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Lucky for Iron Man he has all that armor on.

Now, I'll admit that I don't know the most about the Marvel universe, but is there a reason why Peter Parker couldn't have gone to another wealthy super hero for money for May's hospital bills besides his arch enemy? Say...Danny Rand? Anyone? Any reason at all? Was Peter just being poetic and decided Tony should be made to pay the bills?

Aw, who cares. This comic was lame.

Green Arrow Bonus Material

I just realized that I forgot to insert the best Green Arrow panel of all to my Green Arrow superhunk entry. So here it is:

Rating the Super Hunks #13: Green Arrow

Time to rate another Super Hunk. It's been awhile. I thought it would be timely to rate the soon-to-be-married emerald archer,

GREEN ARROW, AKA OLIVER QUEEN

Costume/Appearance: It's really hard to take Oliver Queen seriously. And I blame that 100% on the moustache and goatee. It's not a good look. For anyone. Unless you are someone's grandfather. Or a magician.

Trying to look past that, his costume is often pretty cool. I mean, the hat is a bit much, but he kinda works it. It adds a bit of playfulness, which is nice. I've been really liking the recent costume, with the hood. The whole look is less Robin Hood. Definitely more attractive than the laced-up turtleneck.

I mean, obviously there is still the facial hair problem. But it's an improvement.

But now let's talk about Silver Age Green Arrow. Now there was an attractive fellow! I don't know why you would every stray from this rugged and attractive look:

Clean cut. Simple suit with nice lines. Big red gloves. Matching child. That's just a sharp look. I have quite a crush on Silver Age Green Arrow.

Lately we've been treated to a new version of young Oliver in Green Arrow: Year One. I think this is an Oliver that we can all agree on:


So basically, Oliver is going to lose a bunch of points here for facial hair alone. Five minutes with a razor would earn him many points, but he insists on keeping this crazy look. Too bad, Ollie.

6/10

Personality: I've always liked Green Arrow because he cracks wise and drinks beer and flirts a lot and generally has a good time. He's a bleeding heart liberal and loves his city so much he successfully ran for mayor.

HOWEVER...he doesn't have a good track record with relationships. At all. Be it sons, sidekicks, lovers or friends. He cheats, he's afraid of commitment, and he's generally selfish and hot headed.

In the friendship pairing of Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan, Oliver is the reckless one. Consider that.

He's gotten better recently, but only very recently. I will take his improvement into consideration, since Dinah was able to forgive him his sins and accept his wedding proposal.

Plus, there is no denying that Oliver is one of the most macho super heroes. He's a guy's guy, and that's appealing.

7/10

Day Job: He's a billionaire. And until recently he was the mayor of Star City. No complaints there.

10/10

Sexiness of Powers: No powers, which always gains favour with me. Oliver is self-trained and awesome.

He can shoot an arrow at anything from anywhere. Plus, he makes all his own high-tech arrows. It's impressive.

Green Arrow is pretty kick-ass. I think every hero is pretty impressed by him. Even Batman.

10/10

Cons: Well, there is the aforementioned commitment-phobia and general asshattery. Plus he's pretty whiny with all the anti-corporate talk. I'm not saying he's wrong, I'm just saying give it a rest sometimes. And he maybe lacks some of the ambition that the other heroes have:

I think if I were in the JLA, and I arrived in the Watchtower and Green Arrow was there, I'd be like "Oh hey, Oliver, what's up? That's cool...listen, is anyone else here?" He's just a little annoying. And arrogant.

- 4

Final Score: 29/40

Well, that's respectable. I don't think anyone would name Oliver Queen as the sexiest super hero. Unless we're talking about the Smallville version. Because...damn.

Hear Me Talk!

Ok, so I totally failed to post anything on my actual birthday. It actually turned out to be a busy day, what with the First Annual Rachelle's Birthday Soccer-Baseball Match, the booze, chapters 13-22 of Trapped in the Closet, and the karaoke. In all the excitement I forgot to post.

But now I have a reason to!

This week The Dollar Bin's weekly podcasts feature...ME! If you want to hear my squawky boyish voice, then please click on this link.

Stay tuned for more me on their Wednesday show when we talk about super hunks. I appreciate that three guys were patient enough to discuss hunky superheroes with me. Thanks, guys!

So now I am 27 years old. 27, I have always thought, is a very cool number. An aesthetically pleasing number. Perhaps because it belonged to aesthetically pleasing NHL defenseman, Mathieu Schneider:

Hey, baby.

Alright, I need to tuck into some Harry Potter and go to bed. I'll leave you with a Superman panel that caught him during his new age phase:

Bruce Doubtfire

I should really save this one for my actual birthday tomorrow because I love it so much, but I can't wait.

So Batman needs to lure Catwoman into a trap. And the only way he can think to do this is to disguise himself as a wealthy, diamond-covered Southern belle.

I think he was just looking for an excuse. Like, he probably could have just strolled into the hotel as Bruce Wayne with a Rolex, but whatever.

Let's see Bruce in action:


I don't know what I love more, how he looks or how he's talking.

"Howdy, y'all!"

I can't stand it. He/she totally looks like a dude, too. Look at that jawbone!

And the best part is yet to come...

First of all, I like that Bruce is keeping the act up with Alfred while they are alone in their hotel room. Secondly I can't get enough of that panel of Bruce sans wig, but still wearing make-up and jewels. Isn't he pretty? Thirdly, I can only assume that he was wearing the Batman costume, minus the mask, under the dress. Or else Bruce just took a long break in the middle of that train of thought to change his clothes between the second and third panel.

Fantastic!

All panels from Batman #266.

Crossover Costume Action!

Batman Vs The Hulk is good for a lot of reasons. But one reason is the awesome disguises Batman dons over his suit. Including...

The panhandler:

And the blind old man:

Fantastic! Do those masks have ear holes at the top for his points?

Not enough is said about Batman's excellent acting abilities. It's one of my favourite things about him.

A Batman Costume Parade!

Hey it's my birthday on Sunday, so I'm gonna count down to it the best way I know how...

...a Batman costume parade!

Not the Bat costume...the costumes Batman wears over the Bat costume! They're awesome!

We'll start the fun with this little number from Batman Adventures Annual #1:

I think the briefcase was a nice touch.