Well, what a surprise. This week the reviews are late again. But this time it wasn't my fault! For some reason I am having a hell of a time uploading photos to Blogger. I don't know if that's my internet connection's fault, or Blogger, but it certainly is slowing me down.
Let's get down to it:
Action Comics # 857
Y'know, it really doesn't get much more fun than this.
The Bizarro Justice League showed up at the end of the last issue, and I could not wait to see more of them. I was not disappointed. Check out Bizarro Batman:
And Bizarro Green Lantern:
Oh man, I hope he shows up in Sinestro Corps.
Bizarro is able to use his "Bizarro Vision" to make more Bizarros. So he makes more league members, which is awesome:
That Green Arrow kills me. I kept that second panel on there because I love Lex's sinister, backwards "Hello."
Superman develops a new power: "Superman Vision," which gives Pa Kent super powers. It's great:
I really loved the reaction of the Bizarro citizens of Metropolis when Superman goes about fixing up their city:
Especially that guy with the noose. So great.
The art, of course, was beautiful and hilarious throughout the book. This issue ends Eric Powell's run, which is sad. I am really looking forward to the Gary Frank run that starts next week, though.
Here's a parting shot of Bizarro Action Comics #1:
Fabulous.
Superman #669
Although I feel that Busiek's run on Superman has been largely underrated, mostly due to the tall shadow cast by All-Star Superman, I just cannot bring myself to care about this storyline.
Who Is The Third Kryptonian? Well, there are three right there on the cover. Oh, you mean besides them. And Power Girl. And, like, the dead Supergirl. And Zod. And the rest.
Also, the third Kryptonian, as it turns out, is someone I have never heard of and don't care about. So there is really no excuse for this hideous cover. I mean, she seems like a cool lady and everything, but...with all the cool stuff going on in the DCU right now, I just cannot possibly care about this.
Superman/Batman #41
This comic will make fanfic writers blush. It's just so damn porny. And I'm not just talking about the cover. Which I COULD be.
So last we left our heroes, Superman was being controlled by Darkseid and Batman was really, really horny. This is thanks to Orion's slutty wife, Bekka.
As it turns out, she has this curse where men are uncontrollably attracted to her, and she feels the same way toward them. The sadder the men are inside, the stronger the connection, thus Orion and now Batman. Plus, she doesn't really wear any clothes, so that can't help. If she really didn't want this to keep happening, she might try a sweatsuit. Or a Mayor McCheese costume or something. Anyway, she has poor Batman in her clutches. He reminds us that he is "aroused beyond all reason" (!!!) in her presence. She says that the only cure...is doin' it. For real.
When she gets that feeling, she needs sexual healing.
*snort* "I haven't felt a heart as hardened as his until I met you." Uh, say what?
Oh poor Batman. The only way he can solve his problems is to nail that beautiful woman. Batman's all "Well, alright then...NO! No I can't!" Frankly I don't see why not. Just get it done and move on. I'm tired of hearing about it.
But Batman is noble and exercises self-discipline, as usual. The result is that Bekka gets herself killed.
Wow. I think that basically counts as a refridgerator, right?
Batman can't solve all his problems by sexing them. He still needs to find Superman. I guess we'll resolve that in the next issue.
Let's get to the good stuff. Superman is experiencing a semi-dream state where his life is flashing before his eyes. All sorts of crazy characters from the past are popping up. It's great! Check it out:
Love that Starro!
But wait, it gets better:
Yeah, that's right. More than one reference to that guy from the cover of Action #1 in the same week! Also...Zebra Batman!
And look at what Superman is wearing! Customized hospital gown!!! So cute!
I think this story wraps up in the next issue. Then the guy who is writing the current TERRIBLE arc on Batman Confidential is taking over for another unnecessarily long six-issue story. So it continues to not look good for this series.
So, this was a pretty ridiculous issue. The best part was probably when American Idol judge Randy Jackson sneaked up on Desaad:
Teen Titans #52
Teen Titans is now officially a better book than JLA. Crazy times we live in.
Two issues in, I am saying right now that Sean McKeever is going to rock this thing. I already love the way he writes all of the characters, and jumping right into this crazy story that features the current JLA and future versions of the Titans themselves is fantastic fun. Thumbs up.
I mean, just look at this page! Solid gold:
And this is the last page:
Last issue ended with Robin pointing a gun at his own head, and this month we get this. Not bad, McKeever. Not bad.
I've added this title to my pull list, and I don't think I've ever had it on there before. Teens!
Green Lantern Corps #17
That is one of the busiest covers I have ever seen in my life. Ask me tomorrow what is on the cover of this week's Green Lantern Corps. I will say "I don't remember. A big mess?"
Inside, the battle between good and evil rages...at a molasses pace. How many times have we been told "Lethal Force Activated," or, "They're heading for New York City"?
Anyway, the important thing is that Kilawog crushes a guy with an AIRCRAFT CARRIER:
And Sodam Yat (aka - So Damn Hot) gets a promotion:
And a terrible new haircut.
Next up: Ion vs Superman Prime!
Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Superman Prime
I wasn't so hot for the first two Tales of the Sinestro Corps comics, but when I saw that Geoff Johns was writing this one, I picked it up.
And I'm glad I did. Superboy(man?) Prime is just a really fun villain because he is so damn childish. I have really been enjoying him througout Sinestro Corps, as I did during Infinite Crisis. Johns clearly loves writing him.
SB Prime visits the Bart Allan memorial, and is a total dick:
Beyond this, though, we get a really nice back story for this notorious guy. One that actually makes you feel sorry for him. More importantly, we get a very clear and easy-to-understand origin story, and I applaud everyone involved for that alone.
Man, that kid is messed up.
Blue Beetle #20
I'm just going to say it: this issue really confused me.
I love this series, and I love the Sinestro Corps cross-over, but this just did not work for me.
Basically Peacemaker gets turned into this guy, thanks to a combination of a scarab and a Sinestro Corps ring:
And Blue Beetle has to fight him. I guess that's pretty straightforward, but I was still confused.
Some of the GL Corps show up, which is entertaining:
Oh, and Peacemaker dies at the end. It's sad. And sudden.
I enjoyed Jaime more in Teen Titans this week than in his own title.
Green Arrow Year One #6
And thus ends a very excellent mini-series. Well done, guys.
Not only is this a gritty and exciting read with fantastic art, it gives a very believable origin story for Green Arrow. Not that I require realism in my origin stories, but for someone like Green Arrow, whose abilities start and stop with being really good at shooting arrows, it's kinda nice.
He's totally badass and tough, which makes us see what Black Canary sees in the guy:
Also badass, a pregnant lady with a machine gun:
I could have lived without the Oliver-delivering-a-baby scene at the end, but whatever.
X-Men First Class #5
Hey, it's my new favourite comic!
This time they run into the Hulk, with hilarious results:
This has a nice little Hulk origin, which is one of the great things about this series. New readers can learn about other Marvel characters as the first class of the X-Men run into them for the first time. It's brilliant.
There are some really great Hulk facial expressions in this issue. The art, as usual, is great:
And Angel, as usual, is very funny:
I guess what I mean is, Jeff Parker, as usual, is very funny.
And if that's not enough, there's another adorable Colleen Coover back-up in this issue. I will show you the first panel, because that will be enough to hook you:
If you aren't reading this comic, you're a damn fool. Add it to your pull list right now.
The Flash #233
Wally totally throws down in this issue. It's awesome. The rest of the JLA shows up at his house for a little group intervention. They are concerned about the way Wally is leading his kids into battle:
Wally's like "Hey, I have an idea: shut up!" He thinks they are trying to physically take his kids away. Which is understandable, based on Superman's choice of words. Roy sets him straight, and then Wally totally serves Batman:
Ohhhhh snap, Wally!
Then Wally and Linda explain their reasoning, which is pretty solid. It certainly shuts the JLA up, anyway:
I love how Batman's all "Ok, cool, my bad," and backs away slowly.
That's a nice group hug.
Daredevil #101
Man, this was so, so depressing. And awesome.
Milla's in a prison hospital after killing someone she pushed into an oncoming subway car. Matt Murdock is looking very tired and haggard, which can be owed to the fact that he spends his days fighting his wife's case, and his nights beating the holy hell out of criminals while trying to find Mr Fear. Fear is responsible for Milla's drug-induced insanity, and Matt gonna make him pay.
But until then, he's gonna brood like a pro.
Good thing Dakota is totally rad and isn't gonna take it. This scene is really satisfying:
I love that. "Duh, you're Daredevil. Just break into her room and be with her, dummy."
So he does. And it's heartbreakingly sweet:
I love this series so much, and I love Daredevil so much as a character, but he's such a train wreck. We know that he doesn't even really love Milla that much, but he just needs to be passionate about something every single moment of his life. He doesn't need to be with her, he just needs to care about something. This is a real downer of a comic book. And I love it.
Alright, that's all the comics I can stand to review. This photo uploading thing is super annoying. Hopefully it will go smoother next time.
That gives you some idea of what her armor would look like if it were really, really shitty. And made mostly of bristol board, electrical tape, and some metallic gold track pants.
Also, I had to wear a hat under the helmet to keep the helmet from falling off. You can see the hat pretty clearly in most pictures, which is too bad. The belt also kept falling down.
Check out the Kirby hand happening in the next photo:
Here I am with my bitches:
Aren't their costumes so cute? Check it out:
Awwww. It was a bowling party, by the way. Thus the bowling shoes on everyone.
That's Matt as Han Solo, and Ben as Indiana Jones. Not bad, boys.
Best male costume went to Jayne from Firefly:
Pee Wee is looking on there. Here's a better shot of him:
Mr and Mrs Skeleton won Most Uncomfortable, but really they deserved so much more. These are some great costumes:
The eyes glowed, too, but you can't really see it there.
We left the bowling ally to go to a house party. First a few of us stopped in at Wendy's:
Then on to the house party, at which point my memories become very hazy. I do know that Tigger costume + Superman Returns mask + Beard = scariest thing I have ever seen:
Apparently I was wearing that mask later. I don't recall this, but there are pictures.
