Saturday, June 30, 2007

Superman Gives Batman His Heart

Oh summer Saturday. The perfect day to dip into the Silver Age and pull out another gem.

In this fun adventure, Superman dies! Everyone is sad...except Batman, who is super pumped about finally getting to crack open Superman's will:

I love how Batman just storms into the room "Shut up everyone, I have something to read you."

Right. So it's unanimous. Batman gets Superman's heart. And no one cares that:

a) Batman does not want a new heart, or the complicated and dangerous transplant surgery required, or

b) Batman does not need a new heart.

But who cares what Batman thinks? It's unnecessary surgery time!

Wow. These are some well-prepared surgeons. Batman needs to get the hell out of there. You do not want to be lying on the operating table and hearing "How do we operate?"

Before Batman can make his escape, Supergirl shows up with some special surgical instruments that Superman had built himself (?!). This next panel is fantastic:

That off-panel, desperate 'No!' is my favourite thing ever.

He hastily makes his self-deprecating (and sensible) excuses and leaves the operating room in tact. Not even the surgeon's persuasive "But Batman!..." argument can change his mind.

The surgeons don't want to waste an opportunity to slice open Superman. They remove all his super parts.


So guess who steals them: Lex frigging Luthor. And he sells them to the highest bidders (I really can't believe he didn't just get them all transplanted to his own body).

Whoever gets his hands gets super strength? That's just preposterous. Everything else about this comic makes total sense.

The super-powered body parts get sold to four assholes:

Just like Superman would have wanted.

Y'know, this comic is really gross.


Friday, June 29, 2007

This Week's Haul: I Want to Join the Sinestro Corps

A comparatively light week for me, so this should be a breeze! Sorry for the delay, but weird holidays mean late deliveries.

Sinestro Corps #1

Ho. Ly. God.

This was fantastic. Y'know what I liked about this? EVERYTHING.

The thing is, DC really needed this. So far their attempts at a summer blockbuster cross-over have been lacking. Amazons Attack is fun in theory, and the actual mini-series is well-written and looks good, but the problem is that it's just not really working as an event. I'll talk more about it later. The other major DC event, the Lightning Saga cross-over, didn't work as well as it maybe should have because it was so damn confusing. Countdown isn't working isn't working. And that brings us to the end of the list.

So, Sinestro Corps. It's great. For one thing, all you needed to read leading into it was Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps. To continue following the series after this one-shot, you still only need to read those two titles. No sweat. also references 52 and continues the events in that. In fact, it gives us more info about the new multiverse in one issue than Countdown has in eight.

The beautiful thing about this is that it's a Green Lantern event for Green Lantern fans. Even though there are important DCU events happening, it isn't going out of its way to pull in other fans. I'm sure non-GL readers will pick this up, and maybe will go back and read the two excellent series that lead to it (note to DC - it would have been a good idea to get some GL trades out before this), but this is written for existing fans. Sinestro is not attacking the Teen Titans, or Green Arrow, or Jonah Hex. He's attacking Green Lanterns. But the members of the Sinestro Corps...and who is behind it...damn. I don't want to give away the ending, but it's great. Everything that happens in this book is crazy. Including the big giant battle, which is only the beginning of what is going to be a crazy good war.

I also want to thank Guy Gardner for proving my point:

Supergirl is for pervs.

Oh, and the back-up Sinestro story? Also awesome. I don't feel that I give Geoff Johns enough credit on this blog as one of the great comic writers. I'm saying, right now, Geoff Johns is great.

Amazons Attack #3/Wonder Woman #10/Teen Titans #48

Alright, so as I was saying, Amazons Attack is fun in theory, but just isn't working as well as it should be. This might be because its foundation is the very mediocre Wonder Woman title, which not that many people were reading, and even fewer were enjoying. But I think the real problem is that there is too much going on in the DCU right now for any of this to matter. I keep forgetting that Amazons are attacking Washington. The mini-series should have come out over four consecutive weeks. Dragging it out as a monthly title doesn't make any sense, especially if there are no related titles to fill in those weeks. No real mention of the Amazons for three weeks, and then three titles at once come out. It just feels like, once a month, the Justice League has to drop what they're doing and go to Washington to fight Amazons.

Like I said, the writing and the art on Amazons Attack is very good. I loves me some Will Pfeifer, and Pete Woods draws some very pretty Amazons. And I really love Superman taking out an Amazon with a dumpster, and then picking up the dumpster so he can put it back where he found it.

And I love Batman's laptop.

But, just, overall this is a weird event. No one is talking about it, and no one will remember it. Most people just seem to be ignoring it. And that's the thing - you can ignore it. It really doesn't seem like it's going to matter at all when it's over.

Wonder Woman was bizarre this week. Especially this, which made my brain explode:

And other than that, it's just so meh. I am really looking forward to Gail Simone taking this thing and running with it.

Teen Titans had nice art by Al Barrionuevo. Look at how tough these girls look!

That's what I'm talking about!

It had a good battle between Supergirl and Miss Martian. Other than that...I don't know why, but Teen Titans just bores me. I cannot care about these characters. I like watching Tim Drake lead, but that's about it.

World War Hulk: X-Men #1/World War Hulk: Frontline #1

Frontline bored the hell out of me during Civil War, so I was not expecting much out of this. But it was pretty fun. Possibly because WWHulk is way more fun than Civil War overall. I mean, this comic was about the sixth re-telling of the first issue of WWHulk that we've seen, but it was still interesting enough. And we got to see some of the other aliens who are rolling with the Hulk:

Frontline was actually pretty damn entertaining. There were a lot of funny moments. Like this one:

So true.

And a big fluffy kitty!!!

Aww, who's a fluffy kitty? Who's a fluffy kitty?

Alright, I'm done.

X-Men was, I thought, really fun. It's also great because we finally get to see Hulk doing something other than beating on Iron Man (wow...I never thought I'd get bored of that). Now he's beating on...children. At Xavier's school.

I just really liked the premise. Hulk wants to find out how Xavier would have voted had he been present during the Illuminati's decision to shoot the Hulk into space.

Nice cliffhanger! Looking forward to the next issue.

Daredevil #98

Lemme just say that Daredevil's escape from police custody...with his hands cuffed...RULED. It furthers my suspicion that Daredevil could possibly take Batman in a fight.

Beyond that, the scenes with Milla and Gladiator were really tense and great. That guy is so terrifying.

Superman/Batman #37

Hey, look what I'm reading again! I thought I'd try out the new story arc. It's written by Alan Burnett and drawn by Dustin Nguyen and the first issue is...pretty good? I dunno. There's no reason to ever expect much from this series (other than the fact that it is called Superman/Batman and it should therefore be the best comic ever).

This is not the best comic ever. But it isn't the worst one, either. I'm gonna take a wait-and-see stance with this one. Unlike most issues of S/B, nothing about it actually offended me. So that's a plus.

The art is doing the making-Superman-look-like-Brandon-Routh thing. I'm ok with that because Brandon Routh is hot, but I know it makes some fans go crazy.

Countdown Week 44


Once again, the highlight was the Piper/Trickster stuff, which sadly only occupied two pages. Other than those two pages, Bart Allan's death was pretty much ignored in the DCU this week.

I do love those two rogues, though.

Ooooo...who's watching them?

As for the rest of it...I don't know what's going on. I really don't. I guess we're not supposed to, but I also don't care. And that's bad. I don't care what Holly is doing with the Amazons. I don't care about Mary Marvel's new powers. I don't care about Forerunner. And, surprisingly, I am starting to not care about Jimmy's superpowers. I want to like this series so badly, and I was kinda digging it at first, but it's just...blah.

Blue Beetle #16

Ok, now THIS was dope.

Jaime meets Traci 13! And it's funny!

She's fighting Eclipso, and brings the battle to Jaime. The battle climaxes in this hilarious scene, as Eclipso threatens to release Jaime's deepest, darkest fantasies of ultimate power:

Lord I love that kid.

Traci and Jaime are cute together. Yay for teen romance!

Immortal Iron Fist #6

I have been wanting to read this series for awhile, but the issues always sell out really fast. I've finally gotten caught up.

I love this series so much. I love this issue so much. To scan and post one panel would imply that I love it more than all the other panels, and that would be a lie. Because every single panel of this comic is solid gold. I'm not being lazy. I'm being honest. And if you read this comic, you understand.

X-Men #200


I'll admit. I'm a closet Gambit fan. I know this may make me lose all credibility, but I was pretty happy to see him again in all his glory. can you not love that guy?

Alright, I'm out. Have a good long weekend everyone, if you are in Canada. And happy 4th of July to you Americans (or, happy Transformers Movie Opening). I'm betting that the comic shipments are going to be all messed up next week too.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Bride of Batman

My new comics were delayed until today because of St Jean Baptiste Day in Quebec. Stupid Quebec. So to fill the void, I give you one of the greatest comics ever...

It is, of course, an imaginary story. Which means I don't have to kill Lois out of jealousy.

So our story starts with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson getting ready for a costume party (oh, Silver Age. How I love you and your daily masquerade balls).

Bruce Wayne has a secret...a creepy secret:

I love his Bluebeard-style forbidden room that's full of mannequins and gifts. I love that he bought her a tiara...and shoes. In fact, there is nothing about this room that screams "straight" to me. "Oh I just buy pretty gowns and jewels and furs...for Lois. I'll never give them to her, but I assure you, they are for her and I do not just routinely go shopping for women's clothing and accessories and come in here and try them on."

Ok, so we've established that Bruce Wayne is even crazier than we thought he was. Let's move on to that costume ball.

Awwww. Poor Bruce. But I 100% approve of his costume choice. After seeing that room, though, I kinda expected him to show up as Jackie O.

Lois is at the party as Joan of Arc. And she actually brings a horse with her as part of the costume. Because she's stupid. Of course, the horse gets spooked. Bruce Wayne to the rescue!

*sigh* Whatta man.

Lois must have spent a fortune on that horse armor.

So Superman shows up with Wonder Woman after some sort of mission, and Lois gets all angry when he says they have to leave again for another crisis.

Mod Amazon? Fantastic!

Bruce Wayne was never one to miss an opportunity:

Why not, indeed, Lois? And look at the fun you're going to have together:

Bruce Wayne: Barrel of Fun.

Bruce and Lois continue courting...with sexy results (this is where I get really jealous):

Argh! So jealous! But...Lois is pretty awesome:

Hee! (Wait...what is Bruce wearing around his neck?!).

So now they're engaged, and Bruce decides to break the news to his best buddy Superman. The entire next page is AMAZING:

Holy smokes. First of all...does anyone not have a creepy shrine devoted to Lois? Secondly...Superman is smashing that bust of Lois in the face with his fist! I'm terrified! And the sobbing! Oh, Superman, pull yourself together. After have a wedding to go to:


Lois, by the way, does not know that Bruce Wayne = Batman. That's a little something Bruce likes to pull out for the wedding night:

That panel of him swinging her around is very cute. As is the one below, with the GIANT DIAGRAM OF HIS SECRET CAVE.

The thing I really like about all of this is how happy Lois is. She's such a superhero fangirl. Bruce Wayne was a pretty good husband...but Batman?! Outstanding!

Superman isn't the only one who's jealous:

Stop lurking around the newlyweds, creepy! What are you hoping to see? I do love what he's thinking, though. (Jimmy Olsen knows Batman's secret? That's a blow).

Eventually Bruce Jr is born, which Robin is also not too happy about:

I love the "Cool it, Robin."

The purpose is to train the toddler as a crimefighter. I'm serious. If you weren't already concerned about Batman's sanity and his tendency to place minors in harm's way, you should be now.

Robin is stone pissed about turning the duo into a trio, until Batman asks him to be the kid's teacher:

Wow. Lois is in on this plan, eh? That's kinda surprising.

In that second panel I love the giant close-up of Batman's nose, and Robin saying "It swings!"

Things start to go wrong in the second half of the story. Lois gets kidnapped and nearly driven mad by crooks who want to know Batman's secret identity. I just think this next set of panels is awesome-looking:

Nice, Lois. Real nice. What did Clark ever do to you? You couldn't have said "Lex Luthor?"

The story continues in a direction that I cannot possibly explain. Just to give you some idea of how far off the rails it gets, this is a later panel:

Anyway, the whole thing ends like this:

"Boy was I wrong!"
"You sure were, friend! Her life is totally in danger!"
"Ha Ha Ha Ha!"
"Ha Ha Ha Ha!"