Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Marvel Thoughts for the Day

As I've already shared, I am on a quest to discover why I have been unable to embrace Marvel, despite a crazy love for little colourful pictures of people in costumes emitting bubbles of text. I feel that documenting my thoughts as I explore the Marvel universe is a good way to get to the root of the problem.

So here's my Marvel thoughts for the day:

How many Marvel heroes are unfortunate vicitims? And what I mean, is, how many of them are more cursed than gifted, and would much prefer being normal? By my count, it's quite a few. The Hulk would be the most obvious. Also, The Thing, Ghost Rider and a whole lot of mutants. I know that the whole point of Marvel is to offer superhero stories that are gritty and real and full of inner conflict...but jeez! Marvel makes it hard for comic readers to do what we like best: fantasize about being superheroes. Every damn character is miserable.

I think I have a crush on Captain America. I look forward to meeting him on the Mythical Marvel Island at Universal Studios on Sunday. I will be getting my nails done first.
Oddly, I might also have a crush on Iron Man. So it makes it hard to "choose sides," as it were. (Actually, Iron Man is clearly the douche in Civil War. It's like choosing between ice cream and cancer).
It's also clear that Captain America and Iron Man have crushes on each other, but that kinda goes without saying. I mean, are we supposed to not think they are in love?

Namor is kinda awesome.

Nicolas Cage seemed to be having a lot of fun playing Ghost Rider. I seriously kinda liked that movie. I mean to me, Ghost Rider looks cool, and that's all he really means to me. So as long as he looked cool in the movie (he did) that's all I care about. Also, I always think that I hate Nicolas Cage, but every time I watch one of his movies I kinda love him. He's so crazy. Was all the stuff in the movie about jelly beans and the Carpenters made up, or was that canon? Delightful!

Have you seen the ads for that singing, dancing Spider-Man doll for toddlers? It's creepy.


Johnathan said...


a) I'm not sure if Iron Man and Captain America are gay for each other. Given your track record on this matter, I'm gonna have to request some verification.

b) I don't have it right here, but as I recall... In the Coast this week Mark Palermo reviewed Ghost Rider, and his big problem with the movie was that there was no effort made to make it easy to identify with ye Spirit of Vengeance. Which is sad, because I was really hoping for the filmmakers to speak to my own experiences as a flaming skeletal demon.

Caleb said...

Maybe I misread it, but I thought you said Namor is "kinda awesome."

I think you probably meant "totally awesome."

Being able to beat up everyone in the universe except the Hulk, being a total prick to everyone all the time, openly expressing your intent to sleep with another man's wife, and being a total bad ass while dressed in only a pair of panties and rocking tiny little wings on your ankles? That's, like, the definition of awesome!

Plus, he fought Nazis. He's like Captain America if Cap were a super flying, mean, a-hole!

Jack said...

Unless you're reading "The Ultimates" you don't know exactly how awesome Captain America can truly be. That guy is not only inspiring, he knows that you can only solve problems through punching and ocassionally drinking beer with Thor

The Mutt said...

Namor is the only guy who could drink a beer with Captain America in the afternoon, then have a brandy with Doctor Doom that night.

And he can make monsters as big as buildings come smash your city.

Finny Friends indeed!

1 Right Opinion Comics said...

Captain America was one of my favorites. I am not sure now with the end of Civil War. What if he had the same attitude at the end of World War II? Hitler is bad, but let's quit to save some real estate. Blah.


nicholas reed said...

That Spiderman thing is REAL?!? I thought I dreamt it up when I was asleep. God, now I'm even more creeped out by it.

Anonymous said...

Hey. I just happened upon your blog and I want to give you kudos. I'm a comic-book-girl myself (used to work in a store). I read a myriad of things but mainly Marvel stuff. I was wondering if you wouldn't be too offended if I did a counter-blog for Marvel fans from a girl's perspective. Kind of like a "Black Vs. White" kinda thing. Email me at


paperghost said..., how DID you feel about Civil War 7 being a big plate of suck?

(oh noes spoilers!!)

also, the Captcha for this entry was "Oiybaps" which readers from the UK might find vaguely chortle-inducing. How rude!

Still doesn't beat the Myspace one I saw ages ago - "RAPEF3VA".

Oh. Noes.

toonsNtunes said...

I find it my duty to impart enjoyment of all thinks comic-related to a younger generation. And I purchased the Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man for my baby cousin for his 2nd birthday. He loved it. I kinda wish I had one of my very own. Even if it is a little creepy.

Jeff said...

"How many Marvel heroes are unfortunate vicitims?"

The answer is basically all of them. It's the Mighty Marvel Manner. The rationale is that it's easier to identify with them as people, and invests us more in their patently ridiculous, tights-wearing behavior. And every time I hear Stan Lee or Joe Quesada say this, I want to slap them. The dichotomy between great power and great tragedy born of that power is interesting and compelling, but not when it happens all the time. Sure, DC has Batman and his 'my parents are dead' shtick, but Batman as a character is about working to turn that negative in his life into a positive force. You might say that Spider-Man is a great everyman character (and he is) but if I got bitten by a radioactive spider, I'd die. If I spent half my life and millions of dollars becoming a top-class martial artist and detective, I could be Batman. I mean, I'd probably want a better jawline to make the cowl really work, but I could probably buy that too if I were that rich.

As much as I like Marvel - and I like Marvel a fair amount - they're so over-reliant on their heroes having 'serious problems' that it's a bit sad. Imagine a Marvel Comics pitch session, "Well, this character is a lot like Rex Splode, except he has herpes. Radioactive herpes. That killed his parents."

rachelle said...

paperghost: I haven't read the final Civil War yet, but don't worry. You really can't spoil it. That's like spoiling rotten eggs.

I still have a lot more Civil War junk to read before I get to last week's issue. And I'd be lying if I said it was so riveting that I think I'll be reading it quickly.

Anonymous said...

well not all the marvel heroes are victims for example:
she-hulk, squirrel-girl and the rest of the gla (except mr immortal) are all non victims.

Max the Mad Cartoonist said...

The Young Avengers are all pretty non-victim-y. Except for Patriot.

And Hawkeye. And Vision and sometimes Stature and Hulkling.

But, um, Wiccan and Speed are fine. Seriously.

scottyquick said...

No no, Speed got kidnapped and thrown into a government facility for God know's how long because of his "gift" . And Wiccan has been gay-bashed, but that wasn't a mutant thing.