Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Superman + Robin + Elongated Man = Huh?

DC Comics Presents #58 (Mike W. Barr and Curt Swann). Superman teams up with Robin and the Elongated Man. Should be the best comic ever, right? Well...as surprising as this may sound, it's actually kinda weird and confusing.

I can't possibly explain the villains they are fighting in this story. Some sorta weird film memorabilia collectors who use technology to make suits that make it impossible for anyone to touch them. That's the best I can do. The important thing is that everyone piles onto Superman's back and heads West. And that it looks hilarious:

California, here we come!

Superman is a jackass several times in this story. Here's one example. An unnecessary aerial loop:

Very considerate, Supes.

In the final showdown against the puzzling villains, Superman gets zapped with some kinda gun that sort of damages his eyesight:

Ok, so his vision is a little wonky. What does he do? He hightails it outta there!

Jackass! "You and Elongated Man are on your own!" Superman only operates at 100%. The slightest disability and he makes like a banana.

Superman needs to be introduced to a little someone named Daredevil.

So Superman flies to the Sun (in about 40 seconds...which I just don't think is realistic. I mean, sure. A solar-powered super alien might be fighting a group of untouchable techno thieves alongside a teenage boy and a man who gets stretchy when he drinks concentrated fruit juice, but instant trips to the Sun? I'm sorry...I just don't buy it).

Um...for ordinary humans going to the sun would cause death. I think we're way past the effects of staring at the sun, here.

Yup, well, Superman is right. It works like eye-drops. Then he returns (way too quickly) to Hollywood to finish the fight against the confusing villains. I'll give Robin and Elongated Man credit. They pretty much had this thing wrapped up on their own. There was just one small detail left for Superman to take care of: the bad guy was still conscious.

Ha! "No! Don't touch my belt buckle!"

I like how Elongated Man calls Robin "Robbie." And I like that he is telling NO ONE that his nose stopped twitching. If there were one more panel after this, I think it would be Superman turning around and saying "Your nose? What? Oh. Right. Twitches when it smells a mystery. Whatever."

7 comments:

Johnathan said...

I'd probably get a little squirrelly if Superman started going for my belt buckle - don't know if I'd faint, though.

This is a good example of Superman's tendency to go over-the-top to solve simple problems, like when he travels through time to get the answers for a history test. Instead of a)closing his eyes and relying on his super-hearing to get around, or b) sucking it up and dealing with the fairly minor distortion to his vision he c) flies to the sun.

And the equivalent to eyedrops would likely be a *liquid*, Superman. Why not try that before traveling eight or nine light minutes, hm?

Grand Tuma said...

Ah, the just-before-crisis-days of DC. I actually remember this issue.
This site is a real trip. I rarely find references to the mid/late 80's DC issues I used to read. Everyone was reading X-Men back then I just never got into Marvel. Although I now see what I missed. Looking forward to your review of Ambush Bug.

buttler said...

superman: "oh, your nose is twitching? here, let me fly you into the sun. it'll fix you right up."

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

How exactly do you come up with Superman, Robin, and Ralph Dibny when pitching a story? Do you just go through the Who's Who and pick stuff at random?

If that's how it's done, DC, I have this great story to tell about Batman, Forager, and Matter-Eater Lad fighting Baron Blitzkreig. Call me.

Jon Hex said...

-Jeff

I got that issue of The Brave and the Bold, and Matter Eater Lad would be dead if Forager hadn't used a batarang to distract Blitzkrieg's Ubermonster. Righteous stuff.

Viagra said...

The only thing I would rescue of this is the travel on Superman's back and the loop, that has to be really funny