Friday, March 30, 2007

A Bob Haney Milestone!

The penultimate Bob Haney Rules Week post.

I just picked up the 150th issue of Brave and the Bold, which also happened to be Bob Haney's 117th issue of the same series. And don't you dare suggest that after 117 B&B stories, Haney may have run out of ideas, because that just isn't true! In fact he gives us one of his most entertaining stories ever in this issue. It's completely bonkers.

Basically, Bruce Wayne is kidnapped by some terrorists. He is guarded by a giant thug named Keeper Karns.

I'm going to let you in on a secret. Keeper Karns is Superman in disguise. I'm sorry to ruin it for you, but it makes these panels way more entertaining. It's evident that Superman is enjoying playing the role of Bruce's prison guard a little too much. Perhaps he's getting out some pent-up frustration. At any rate, it's a good act because Bruce doesn't suspect a thing.

Ok, remember: the big guy in the green coat is really Superman.


He's really throwing himself into that role, eh?

The reason why Superman is involved in all this: the terrorists also have Jimmy Olsen, and have said that if they see Superman in the skies over Gotham, they will kill him. So obviously Superman had no choice but to dress like this Keeper Karns fellow and kick the holy hell out of Bruce Wayne for an evening.

The really entertaining thing is that Bruce escapes from and returns to where he's being held prisoner a couple of times during the night. And each time he gets his ass handed to him by Keeper "Superman" Karns. Then Bruce, being the detective that he is, starts to notice Karns's powers.

Getting warmer, Bruce.

What crook indeed? Wait a minute...Superman doesn't fit that bill either! That sounds more like Martian Manhunter! Superman doesn't go through walls!

Meh. Anyway, Bruce FINALLY figures it out and, being the professional that he is, subtly lets his pal know while they fight off the terrorists:

Dude! Shut up! Superman did not go to all this trouble just to have you yelling his secret from the rooftops, dumbass. Or does he have to tie you up and beat you again?

The whole thing is pretty bizarre, and I'm not convinced that it's not all an elaborate prisoner/guard role-playing sex game that Bruce set up. Billionaires do weird stuff like that, right?

5 comments:

thedeadpenguin said...

"[Bruce] unleashes a karate blow
that's never failed to fell a foe!"

Haney, you goddamn beautiful poet!

SallyP said...

I'm just enjoying the fact that Bruce doesn't know everything for once.

Anonymous said...

From the looks of Bruce Wayne lying on that bed, there's definitely something kinky going on. Just look at him, that wanton little crime-fighter!

Daeriel said...

Oh...oh...laughing too hard to comment. "Superman! You're really Superman!" Just take out a billboard, Bruce. Clark really is enjoying himself way too much there...

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