Sunday, June 24, 2007

Make Dragons History!

Are your plans constantly being interrupted by dragons?

Have your children been eaten by dragons?

Do you go to start your car...only to find it's been destroyed by a dragon?

Do you have to replace your roof more than three times/week?

Do you wish you could walk out of your house without seeing this:

Are Dragons RUINING YOUR LIFE?

It doesn't have to be like this.

It's time you took a stand. It's time you took your life back. It's time you purchased....

THE DRAGON MUTILATOR

This all-in-one dragon defense system features not one, but two blades. Use them together, or take them apart for double dragon slaying action! The spiked hand grip will tear unwanted dragons apart! The Dragon Mutilator is the brand dragons know and fear. Simply put, you would be a fool to not purchase this incredible weapon.

It's time to let the dragons know that they are not the boss of you. It's time to stand up and say "Those babies I make are for me to love, not for dragons to eat!" With the Dragon Mutilator no dragon will bother you and no woman can resist you. Now when someone asks "Aren't you afraid of that dragon?" you can proudly say "Not anymore."

The Dragon Mutilator can be yours for only $28, available at finer websites and flea markets everywhere.

9 comments:

Johnathan said...

*ACTUAL TESTIMONIAL*

The Dragon Mutilator saved my life, babies and marriage. I couldn't go outside without finding dragons all over my lawn but now I'm the one who goes over to *their* place and eats *their* pets. I am completely up in dragons' grills where once they were all up in mine."

*ACTUAL TESTIMONIAL*

SallyP said...

Why this looks to be a fine product. I hope that it can be sold in toy stores throughout the land. Are the blades easy to separate? Can it also be used to control pets and toddlers?

Perhaps it would come in handy keeping those goshdarned whippersnappers off of my lawn!

FoldedSoup said...

After buying one myself, I have seen no Dragons. Therefore, like my rock that keeps bears away, I heartedly endorse this product.

SallyP said...

Crap, I was going to tag you, but you've already been there, done that.

Caleb said...

That's funny. "You're not the boss of me!" is my battlecry.

Jon Hex said...

You would have to be pretty badass to begin with if you're killing a dragon(or any large lizard) with a knife.

I do all my dragon-killing with Spraybalm brand naplam. They're not as fireproof as all the fire-breathing would have you believe.

wrath said...

for those dragon attacks when you forgot to bring your flamethrower holdout.

Jon Hex said...

Oh, forgot to mention you've been Tagged!

Adam said...

Well...
You've sold me on it.