Saturday, June 30, 2007

Superman Gives Batman His Heart

Oh summer Saturday. The perfect day to dip into the Silver Age and pull out another gem.

In this fun adventure, Superman dies! Everyone is sad...except Batman, who is super pumped about finally getting to crack open Superman's will:

I love how Batman just storms into the room "Shut up everyone, I have something to read you."

Right. So it's unanimous. Batman gets Superman's heart. And no one cares that:

a) Batman does not want a new heart, or the complicated and dangerous transplant surgery required, or

b) Batman does not need a new heart.

But who cares what Batman thinks? It's unnecessary surgery time!

Wow. These are some well-prepared surgeons. Batman needs to get the hell out of there. You do not want to be lying on the operating table and hearing "How do we operate?"

Before Batman can make his escape, Supergirl shows up with some special surgical instruments that Superman had built himself (?!). This next panel is fantastic:

That off-panel, desperate 'No!' is my favourite thing ever.

He hastily makes his self-deprecating (and sensible) excuses and leaves the operating room in tact. Not even the surgeon's persuasive "But Batman!..." argument can change his mind.

The surgeons don't want to waste an opportunity to slice open Superman. They remove all his super parts.


So guess who steals them: Lex frigging Luthor. And he sells them to the highest bidders (I really can't believe he didn't just get them all transplanted to his own body).

Whoever gets his hands gets super strength? That's just preposterous. Everything else about this comic makes total sense.

The super-powered body parts get sold to four assholes:

Just like Superman would have wanted.

Y'know, this comic is really gross.



Siskoid said...

You're gonna leave us hanging with Part 1?

Arghh... it's not an imaginary story until I see the caption that says so!

Johnathan said...

Yeah - I ant to see them fight Batman!

Maybe their parts will fall off and the Comics Code Authority will ban another panel.

Jeffrey Hardy Quah said...

If Batman didn't want to take part in the operation why the heck was he lying on the surgical table at all?

SallyP said...

Well crap in a hat. They could have given Superman's heart to Ted Kord! HE could have used one!

If I were Batman, I would have taken the organs and stored them in the shrine to Lois.

rachelle said...

Or in the even bigger shrine that he no doubt has for Superman.

Jim said...

Holy crap, that's disturbing.

I think most of the writers were on something during the Silver Age...

Thanks for the hilarious summary, Rachelle!

Anonymous said...

I especially like the way Batman wears his costume on the operating table.

Michael Jones said...

Ah the good old days. In Public school, we used to play "unnecessary surgery" at recess. btw, who got his wang?

Scott said...

Micheal Jones, I'm sure there's a surgeon on the run in the DCU after his wife was found dead with a suspicious shotgun blast to the abdomen.