This Week's Haul: So This is What it Sounds Like...When A GOD DIES!

Two weeks in a row my comics were delayed until Thursday. I can understand last week, because it was a Canadian holiday. But this week it was just a dumb American holiday and they held back on releasing the comics on Wednesday here just to be fair. Horrible!

Anyway, the agonizing wait is over. And it was worth it because there was a lot of fun between the covers this week.

Countdown Week 48

So...who doesn't know about Jason Todd's identity?

Like...this is concerning me. Bruce should really put a lid on this thing because it won't take a genius to figure out who Batman is if the whole world knows that Jason is an ex-dead ex-Robin. Jason's hero name seems to be Jason Todd, because more people seem to be calling him that than anything else.

Hey, look at what Jimmy can do!

Weird!

Karate Kid says something that you will never hear outside of a comic book:

And Lightray dies, causing Superman to speak in fonts:

That cracked me up. It probably wasn't supposed to.

Amazons Attack #2

Oh, those pesky Amazons.

Once again, the Amazons are HARDCORE:

Daaayummm!

I'm liking this, because Will Pfeifer and Pete Woods is a solid combination. And look at this thing:

There are battles, and then there are BATTLES. This, my friends, is as awesome-looking as an attack gets.

My boy Batman gets a starring role in this one. This is fun:

Oh, I have been waiting my whole life for someone to say that to me.

As much as I love me some Batman, I was kind of sad for Black Canary. I mean, who exactly is in charge here?!

Come on, Dinah! You're supposed to be the chairperson! Tell Batman to shut up!

Daredevil #97

I am finally caught up on this series. And what the hell took me so long?! It's FANTASTIC. I mean, obviously. You team up Brubaker and Lark and the results are always so good they actually frighten me a little. I mean, even if I didn't already think so, this series alone would tell me that Brubaker is the best writer in comics today. But he also happens to be writing, and has written, a whole bunch of totally amazing comics.

I mean, there are a lot of great writers working in comics right now, but Brubaker writes comics that I feel I can lend to anyone, whether they normally read comics or not, and they will not only love them, but they will understand them. His writing is very straightforward and engaging, and avoids getting tangled up in obscure references or overly complicated casts of characters.

Sometimes I'll just stare at one panel, re-reading the dialog and staring at the art forever. It's just so good. Daredevil is my new boyfriend. I mean, check this out:

Yeah. That's hot.

This was pretty surprising:

I hope Brubaker and Lark are doing the next 200 issues of Daredevil. And then Brubaker should write a new Daredevil movie that doesn't suck.

Blue Beetle #15

J. Torres!!!!

Superman was a really busy guy this week. He shows up in Hawkgirl, Countdown, Amazons Attack, and this as well as starring in a giant-size issue of Action Comics. It's a toss-up between this comic and Hawkgirl for most adorable cameo, but this was decidedly more entertaining.

I mean, first of all there's this page:

I just love the way he's holding both of those guys. Also, Livewire rules.

It gets really funny at the end because there's this whole Very Special Episode-style conversation between Blue Beetle and Superman:

That's just so...funny. "Go on, son. I'm listening." And then the sage advice and the whole "You did the right thing." "Thanks, Superman." exchange was just so delightfully wholesome. Superman!

And the art, by Freddie Williams II, was great too. Check out this facial expression:

I love this series.

Green Lantern #20

Everyone's favourite piece of meat is back in action this week. He's still dealing with that obnoxious Star Sapphire.

Hal does what he always does when faced with a problem. He makes out with it.

Pretty clever, Hal. When in doubt, make out.

This is what I like about Green Lantern comics. I'm just sayin', you're not going to see that in a Batman comic.

I love the art on this run. Everyone is all great-looking.

I like Cowgirl. But it doesn't look good for her, because guess what Hal just found out about Carol:

"Divorce?! That's my favourite word!"

Oh, Hal.

Justice Society of America #6

More Geoff Johns goodness!

"Insane? Wait, who are you again?"

Oh Starman. I love your crazy ass:

Aaaand I loved this:

Hee! I am really enjoying this Kingdom Come Earth development. I guess that what we are really learning is that all of the Elseworlds actually exist in the multiverse. It's fun.

And this was fun:

What about Black Lightning? He's cool! And he's standing right there! What wouldn't Diana like about a gold medalist decathelete?

Lovin' this cross-over. Get to the part where Barry Allan comes back!!!

Teen Titans # 47

I'll be honest. I only half-understood what was going on here. I'm making an effort to get to know the Titans but they are so damn confusing.

I did understand this though:

Robins! Ooodles of Robins!

Lordy those three boys all look the same. It's like Bruce has them manufactured or something.

Well, that was unnecessary, Tim. I expected better from you.

Action Comics #850

Now THIS was adorable!

A celebratory 850th issue of Action Comics that looks back at Superman's history via the Legion of Superheroes teaching Kara about her cousin. It's very clever and fun. And it's beautifully drawn by my new favourite person, Renato Guedes.

So, yeah. Brainiac 5 is testing out his new invention, the Chronexus, which allows people to view any point in time. He decides to use it to show Kara Superman's past. But first he has to find the correct past (read: the current origin and continuity for Superman; read: Birthright), which is fun. It takes him a few tries, which means we get awesome pages like this:

Everything is good about that page. "That hair! No."

Eventually Brainiac finds the right Superman and we follow him from birth on Krypton to present in a series of vignettes with snappy Legion commentary. And there are some really awesome and cute scenes, like this one after Clark's debut as Superman:

"Ah!" So cute.

His first date with Lois:

His first Justice League mission:

Barry! You're killing me! Look at his posture!

And here's a heartbreaking scene where Clark and Lois are talking about children:

Awwwwww.

New and Improved Supergirl!!!

I am very excited about the new look for Supergirl, as drawn by Renato Guedes. She just looks so...correct.



And she's still sexy, just in a normal proportions kind of way. No more breast implants.


I forgive the kinda gross upskirt sketch because it reveals that she is wearing boy shorts underneath!!! Sensible!!!

If DC is going after the female demographic with this character, I think they are taking steps in the right direction. I would totally hang out with this girl!

The new writer, Tony Bedard, takes over in August with Supergirl #20, and Guedes will be drawing. I can't wait. I am so pleased because I really don't want to hate Supergirl, but outside Brave and the Bold, I have had very little choice.

There's an interview with Bedard at comicon.com with more sketches that you can check out here. Things are looking up!

Strange Adventures Rules! (Even when new comics are delayed until Thursday).

A little magazine called Reader's Digest just named Strange Adventures the best comic shop in Canada. Was there ever any doubt?

Incidentally, we were the runner-up for best place to see polar bears.

In honour of this...honour...I am launching another contest. Right here, right now. It's another photo challenge, but this time I want y'all to send me a photo of your favourite comic shop. I would especially like to see a picture of you, in your favourite shop, holding your favourite comic. Something like this:

If you're shy, you can also have a picture of your favourite comic store clerk. Or just the store. Whatever. As long as it's a picture you didn't take off your favourite store's website. I want to see a little effort. If you want to say some nice things about your favourite shop, that would be cool. In two weeks, I will post all the photos and comments. You can email them to rachellegoguen at gmail dot com.

Here are some more pictures of Strange Adventures:

Tiina likes Runaways:

Ben likes JLA (specifically, Red Tornado):

Cal likes The Spirit:

Dave likes All-Star Superman:

Dave is a good drawer. He makes nice signs:

I don't understand RPGs:

This is our recommended rack:

Mine is the one with Batman and the Monster Men and stuff (and JUST the annual issue of Superman/Batman).

So I suppose you are all wondering what the prize is. I'ma send the winner, who will be drawn randomly, a copy of the first edition of The Spirit #1, signed by Darwyn Cooke, along with two very rare and limited Spirit buttons (all courtesy of Strange Adventures). Not bad at all!

So let's all show some love for our favourite comic shops.

Rating the Super Hunks #8: Wally West

I was biking all day and now it hurts to sit down. But I will suffer through it because it is Tuesday and that means:

a) New comics tomorrow!
b) Time to rate a super hunk!

I got some requests for this one. The fastest hunk alive,

Wally West, aka The Flash

Costume/Appearance: The Flash suit has always been one of my favourite superhero costumes, with its crimson and gold colour combo and lightning bolt details. Plus, it's very tight and leaves nothing to the imagination.

Wally basically took Barry's costume, which was great, and eventually made small alterations that made it just a little bit cooler. The two diagonal lightning bolts that meet in the middle is a much more flattering look than the straight across belt that Barry rocked. And removing the wings from the boots is a step in the right direction. Also, those big yellow boots are awesome.



I'm going to go on record right now and say that I don't like the shiny suit. You can wear a bright red hooded leotard with lightning bolts sticking out of the sides of your head, but you start making that shit shiny and it's just tacky. The little ear decorations should be metal, and the rest should be matte. That's a nice-looking costume.

I actually don't know how sexy the Wally West Flash costume is, really. I mean, it's got Jay Garrick's beat by a country mile, but still...

Yeah. It's pretty good. You have to be pretty damn fit to wear that thing and make it not look ridiculous.

Without the costume, Wally is reasonably good-looking. He gets my vote for sexiest Flash. He's also one of the few red-headed heroes. He's got nice enough features. Green eyes, good jaw line. Whatever. He's no Bruce Wayne. His head is kinda small for his body.

7/10

Personality: This section used to be called Alter-Ego, but some heroes don't have one. 'Personality' is more inclusive.

Wally took on the mantle of The Flash when he was about 20 years old, so he's always had a young, boyish charm thing going for him. In the Flash comics, he's a bit of a smart ass, but nothing compared to the way he's portrayed in the Justice League cartoons and related comics.

To be honest, I always found Wally to be kind of boring. I like his friends more. He's just your typical nice guy who's good to his mother, married a nice girl, had a couple of kids, and vibrated at the same speed as the Speed Force or something to stop Superboy and help save the world before disappearing to an alternate Earth. Nothing really to write home about.

It should be noted, though, that Wally has gotten a lot of action in the comics. And by that, I mean sexy action. Dude has been around.

7/10

Day Job: He doesn't really have one, except when he lost his memory and was an auto mechanic for the KCPD. Auto mechanics are pretty macho. I like that he won the lottery once. That kept him comfortable for awhile.

This guy has gotten struck by lightning and has won the lottery. Jesus.

7/10

Sexiness of Powers: He's really, really fast. Is that sexy? It's actually kind of freaky.

I guess it keeps him happy. And it's hotter than, say, not having super speed.

7/10

Cons: Wally can be a real dick sometimes. Like when poor Kyle became the new Lantern. He was also kind of a punk kid, but who wasn't, really? I can't hold that against him.

But I am holding the treatment of Kyle against him. Stupid Wally.

OH, and how about losing ALL of your lottery winnings in the stock market, Wally? Not cool.

- 3

Final Score: 25/40

Wally got 7/10 across the board, and I think that makes sense. He's a solid 7. Nothing to be ashamed about.

Bat Tractor!

Best. Batmobile. Ever.

Attention Music-Lovers!

This post has nothing to do with comics. I am hoping some of you music-lovers might be able to help me out.

This summer my band, The Stolen Minks, is going on tour across Canada. The whole country. Canada, as you may know, is, like, really big. Really, really big. So it's a whole lot of driving. We need mix CDs. Good ones. All kinds of different ones. If I am the only one making them, there will just be Loverboy on every single one.

So, here's what I propose: if you are one of those types who enjoys making mix CDs, you can make me one and mail it to me, and I will mail you one back. And I'll try not to put Loverboy on it.

If you'd like to help, just send me an email at rachellegoguen at gmail dot com. Our musical interests are varied. We love everything from the most misogynistic and profane hip-hop to the whiniest of indie nerds. From way old music to music that hasn't even been invented yet.

I'll be posting a full list of tour dates as soon as they are all confirmed, in case any of you want to see me do the other thing I am famous for. If you happen to be in a Canadian city, that is. We'll be leaving on July 18.

Our route (starting in the East):

Superman's Sexy Jungle Adventures

If ever you are trapped in the jungle with someone, make sure it's Superman. Even without his powers. And you should try not being a total bitch.

No, Superman. She doesn't.

I'm not saying that Superman doesn't deserve Lois's crap. I mean, he's dealt out more than his fair share. And I do appreciate that Lois has no problem talking smack to Superman. At one point in this comic I thought that Superman wasn't going to take it anymore:

It turned out to not be as dark a moment as it seemed. Superman merely wanted to build a nice shelter for her.

Dude, that is pretty impressive. And how much do I love that he stripped half naked so he could give Lois his cape and shirt?

A lot.

This is where things get sexy:

Seriously, folks. It does not get hotter than that. That's steamy stuff for 1964. And did you know that Kryptonians don't have nipples?

But wait! There's more! Watch and marvel as our shirtless and freshly-shaved hero battles a poisonous snake!

What a man, indeed!

Take that, snake! You thought you were gonna take a bite out of Superman, but instead...KRRUNCH! I hope you like milkshakes, snake!*

So there you go. Sexiest comic ever. Except maybe this one:


* I hope Superman takes that poor snake back to the Fortress of Solitude zoo and feeds it milkshakes.

This Week's Haul: Long Live Captain America

I scanned the list of new titles this week and was a little let down. Nothing beginning with 'Super,' 'Bat,' 'Justice,' or 'Green.' But that doesn't mean there weren't any good comics this week. Far from it. Let's have a look see...

The Spirit #6

You have to look at that cover for a long time to fully appreciate how incredibly awesome it is.

I love it when my interests overlap. So obviously an issue of The Spirit that involves an all-girl rock band is going to make me very happy.

It's like looking into a mirror!

Anyway, this comic rules and everybody knows it.

Oh, Denny. You're lucky you have women around you all the time.

I liked watching him easily beat up an entire club full of punk fans:

Ha! Take that, punks!

I really can't wait for next month's Summer Special. The cover makes it look like sexy good times.

Wonder Woman #9

This was a really nice-looking issue, thanks to the Dodsons and Alex Sinclair. I liked the washed-out colouring.

The humour is often kind of awkward in this series, but there were a couple of little jokes in this one that made me laugh. There's a cute little Batman/Superman scene here:

And a fun exchange between Wonder Woman and Circe:

But Nemesis seriously needs to shut up. I know that Picoult is probably aiming for a Han Solo-style cocky-yet-charming-and-sexy character with him, but he really is awful. I mean, really:

He's, like, 13 years old. The sexual tension between he and Wonder Woman is making me sad. It's like watching your best friend fall for a complete jackass. Don't do it, Diana! You can do so much better! Seriously! You're Wonder Woman! God, Booster Gold would be better. Plastic Man would be better!

Anyway, yeah. The Amazons are still attacking.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Annual #1

I love annuals. I can't say no to one. I also like stories from the villain's POV. Sandman is all the rage these days, so Marvel decided to cash in with a brand new origin story written by Peter David and drawn by Ronan Cliquet.

This story gets into Sandman's childhood, which is a pretty depressing story. His abusive dad walked out, leaving him with his alcoholic mom. He gets beat up in school, until he stands up for himself and eventually becomes a big tough guy/football star. Then he turns to a life of crime, starting with the throwing of a couple of football games to help his friend make some quick money. I thought this was pretty funny:

He ends up in jail with...his old man! And we get a twist on why he named himself Flint Marko:

Oh, um. 'Flint' was the last name of his favourite grade school teacher.

It's a good read with nice art. And, like I said, I'm a sucker for villain stories. There's also a very touching back-up about a homeless little girl who loves Spider-Man. Her unconscious body is found by her hero and he takes her to the hospital, where she dies. Actually, this comic is a total downer. But she has some really beautiful dreams while she's unconscious, drawn by Colleen Doran:
Annuals!

Countdown Week 49

Elastic Lad Jimmy!

Well, that's exciting.

I also enjoyed this exchange between Red Arrow and Karate Kid:

Oh, Roy. As if a guy from the 31st century is going to get your stupid reference. Kids from this century don't even get that. KK definitely came out the victor in that battle of wits with his "the other five were actually in the history books" burn.

Hey, some sort of Black Adam is back!

Sklutch!

I dunno...is this some sort of alternate Earth Black Adam, or did he figure out his new magic word.

We get another piece of the Pied Piper mystery, and it's a very cute one:

Man, I just think that's adorable.

And finally we get some more Monitor chat:

Yeah. That's how I feel about the Toronto Maple Leafs. (zing!)

Hey look! It's Kyle! He's gonna get killed!

I'm glad they are doing a history of the multiverse back-up, because I can really use it. I am a real multiverse flunky. I need, like, puppets to explain it to me.

Birds of Prey #106

Rad cover. This issue had a big ol' sexy fight between the BoP and the Secret Six.

It was every bit as much fun as that sounds.

I like a little sexual tension between heroes and villains:

Oh, those two.

This was actually a really fantastic comic. Every tough lady ever in one big royal rumble. I love Barda and Manhunter being in this book. Fun times!

Marvel Adventures Iron Man #1

Yay! Another fun all-ages Marvel series!

I like that Stark Industries = Apple:

This was a lot of fun to read. It's just nice to have a comic where Tony Stark isn't a complete douche. Plus, the art is fantastic:

Yay! Iron Man is cool again!

Robin #162

A big A+ on this month's cover. That looks great!

This issue wrapped up a storyline that I wasn't too excited about. I just love Tim Drake so much, though. Batman wishes he was Tim Drake when he was Tim's age. The kid is awesome.

The highlight of this issue for me was Alfred rumpling Tim's hair:

Captain America #26

Oh man, this comic was so goooooooooooooood.

So, this is our first issue of Captain America, sans Captain America. You would think that wouldn't work, but you just have to trust in Brubaker. He makes everything all right.

I mean, look at this awesomeness:

Man, I really like seeing Tony Stark get slapped across the face.

Yeah, so at the top there we get the very interesting revelation that the Super Soldier Serum left Steve's body after he was killed, reducing him to that skinny weakling he was when he first joined the army. It also makes him look very much like Christ on the cross, which I am sure is no accident (Tony...Captain America died for your sins). I loved Sharon blurting out "What did I do?"

I loved the wake. I loved Rick Jones saying that he was going to be playing a set at the wake. I loved the secret wake with Team Cap members afterwards. And I loved that my new boyfriend, Winter Soldier, is back and ready to kick the ass of anyone who so much as looks at him. Dude is pissed, and he's found a new target:

I really love how we get that clip of Tony's attempted speech at the funeral. It's really very moving. But I can see why Bucky's angry. I do feel for Tony, though. As messed as his methods were, he had good intentions, and he's probably more broken up about Cap's death than anyone. Because he was totally in love with him. And who could blame him?

I also want to say that Bucky's new leather jacket is a brilliant costuming decision:

That looks so dope. It brings back the best element of Bucky's old costume.

I LOVE YOU WINTER SOLDIER! You should grow your hair out again!

M.J. Bone

I lied. Again.

I said I wasn't going to post anything further about the MJ statue, and then J. Bone drew this for me!!!!!!
Clearly it needed to be posted because it is the most amazing thing. Ever. (Note the tiny top and ripped jeans on the clothesline).

EEEEEEE!!!

Random Thoughts

I didn't get any new comics today because stupid Victoria Day slowed them up. I'll be getting them tomorrow. The wait is agonizing. I do have the new Spirit, though, because Darwyn Cooke is nice and gave us all one. I'm going to read it in a second, but first some random thoughts on things.

1. The Dark Knight Marketing Campaign

It seems that The Dark Knight marketing team has unleashed a teaser promotional campaign so clever that I thought for sure it was a fan-made hoax. It's simply too interesting. You can get a good run-down of it by clicking on this link.

Basically it combined the release of this image:

...with this secret website that saavy net-surfing comic nerds discovered:

And finally this hidden image, giving us our first official photo of the new Joker:

I don't know how I feel about the look of the new Joker. I think, and have said all along, that Heath Ledger is a great casting choice and will do a good job. [EDIT - this is a total lie...I went on record voicing my concern about the casting choice last year, but I can't remember ever actually feeling that way]. I also know that The Dark Knight is a movie and not a cartoon or a comic book, and the character of The Joker needs to blend in with all that. So the make-up artists are faced with the challenge of creating a Joker for the screen that doesn't look like a cartoon character in the middle of a bunch of gritty realism. (For the record, I really loved Batman Begins, and appreciate and understand that a movie cannot possibly give comic fans everything they would want to see on screen. There will never be a definitive Batman movie, but there already is one high quality one and I am looking forward to seeing two more).

So keeping all that in mind...I still don't think I like this Joker, based on first appearances. But that's possibly more the fault of the photo itself, which looks like a Tool poster. The marketing campaign was brilliant, and damn near perfect, but the problem is...this Joker does not look like the same Joker that would deface Harvey Dent's campaign poster, litter a comic book shop with playing cards, and set up a creepy website. It would have been a little more fun to have the camera angle coming from above, and having him look up at the camera with a creepy expression. It would have been a lot more familiar as a Joker image.

Aw, listen to me. Nitpicking like some sort of comic nerd. I'm just happy these movies are getting made. And I really do appreciate the fun promotional stuff. I seriously can't wait for this movie.

2. The Smallville Season Six Finale

I know you all really watch and care about Smallville. Sometimes I feel like they are making new episodes only for me. I watched the finale the other night and, well, I'm just going to lay down some mad spoilers because nobody on Earth cares.

- Smallville, you do it to me every year. You throw episode after episode of mediocrity at me, making me swear I'm going to stop watching, and then you hit me with a Superman-related finale/cliffhanger that guarantees my loyalty for another year. Because sometimes I need to be reminded that the show is about Superman. This year's Superman reference? Bizarro! I was very excited by the final shot of Bizarro Clark flying at the camera.
I was less excited by this very clunky exchange:

Clark: Who are you?
Bizarro Clark: I'm you, only a little more bizarre.

Ouch. There has to be a better way to get that information across. He could have at least talked like Bizarro. Then it would have been cute instead of embarrassing.

- Is Lana really and truly dead? That would be so fantastic. But even more fantastic would have been if Lois had died. Everyone knows Chloe is a better Lois Lane than Lois Lane will ever be. The character suuuuuuuucks and makes no sense! She lives and works in Smallville, yet still calls Clark "Smallville." The sexual tension between Clark and Chloe is the most compelling thing on the entire show, and yet it is almost totally ignored. If Lois were killed off, the viewers could be rewarded by the revelation that Chloe is going to be the real and future Lois Lane (she could take her cousin's name...or whatever. Just make it happen, writers! Know your audience! We deserve a happy ending!).
Chloe had better not be dead. I will seriously stop watching the show. You hear that, Smallville? 50% of your audience will be gone, just like that! And it looks like Lionel will make it back for another season, which is dope. Lex is just boring now, which is too bad. But there will be some awesome hatred between he and Clark over this whole Lana thing. Unless she's still alive. Which she probably is. *sigh*

- I think season 6 was the best season yet, overall. Definitely some terrible episodes (Clark battles flawed immigration policy, anyone?), but I loved Green Arrow and Martian Manhunter and Jimmy Olsen and the Phantom Zone and Zod and the whole Justice League episode. It was fun.
Plus, Allison Mack completely rocked the house as Chloe all season, and had the best wardrobe I've seen on a character since the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

So yeah, I'll be back next season. As long as Chloe is there. And after next season ends there should be a spin-off called Chloe and Lionel where they are roommates and solve mysteries. It would fill the void that comes from Veronica Mars being canceled (boooooooo!!!).

Smallville doesn't really ever give me what I want out of a young Superman show, but I love them for trying.

3. Adam Hughes Weighs In

Hughes did an interview over at Newsarama about the whole MJ statue thing. He's surprised about how much attention this thing got. Frankly, so am I. Even when I did my post on the statue, I never expected to even get two comments, much less a quote in the New York Post, for chrissake. I wouldn't even say that I was outraged. More like...I have a comedy-based blog about comic books, and that thing was way too ridiculous to not post about. It's not like it was at all surprising. I mean...the thong is still a little surprising to me. It's just so...trashy.

Anyway, you can check out that link above and read the interview. I like Adam Hughes as an artist quite a bit. I will say this, however: Adam, dude, you may not want to bring racism into this argument. I understand what you're trying to say, but...you start trying to carry things in that direction, and you're just going to come off sounding crazy.

And that's the last I'm going to say about that thing.

Solicitations: JLA #12

Yeah, so for a second here, I totally thought Superman and Hal were holding hands in this picture:

Oh well.

Aw, look at Geo-Force. Still in the league. Good for him.

Rating the Super Hunks #7: Midnighter

I'm back and ready to rate another super hunk. I'm a little sleepy today, but nothing wakes me up like examining the finer points of attractive super heroes. This week we turn the spotlight on...

Midnighter


Costume/Appearance: Midnighter's costume is dope. It's one of my very favourites. All black with a stylish trench coat, awesome boots, and a badass mask. Plus, the minimalist logo is very cool. The costume is full of attractive and cool details, too, like spiked knuckles on the gloves, buckled-on gauntlets on his sleeves, and a big ol' belt buckle.

You don't get to see Midnighter with the mask off very often. I thought that when they finally revealed his face for the first time, he'd be all scarred and stuff, because that's usually the way with characters that never take their masks off. Imagine how pleased I was to learn that he's quite the hottie under the mask, with rugged features and sandy hair.

Hot costume. Hot guy.

10/10

Alter-Ego: Who knows? He doesn't use one, and even he doesn't know much about his past. Midnighter is the only name he goes by, and, really, can you blame him? I would also insist that people call me that all the time.

Personality-wise, Midnighter is an intense guy. He's grouchy, but he's not usually brooding like, say, Batman. He has a quick, sardonic wit that always cracks me up.

Basically Midnighter is scary as hell, but he's still a loving and devoted husband and father.

He's very macho and very badass, but sometimes he just needs a little loving. On that note, he's not only one of the few openly homosexual super heroes, he is also generally one of the most openly sexual heroes. He has a sex life, and we know it. The fact that his relationship is with one of his teammates makes it all the hotter. In battle he's always looking at Apollo like he can't wait to get him home.

9/10

Day Job: Ass-kicking member of The Authority, devoting himself to the creation of a better world. By killing lots and lots of assholes.


10/10

Sexiness of Powers: Midnighter is the ultimate killing machine. Not only does he have super-strength, durability, and the ability to heal himself, but he also can calculate over a million possible outcomes for every situation in seconds. Plus, he loves using his powers, which is fun.

His powers are definitely sexy. Just look at how Apollo looks at him after a battle.

9/10

Cons: Well, he's not interested in chicks, which ruins my chances, but he and Apollo are so hot together that I certainly can't complain. Midnighter's flaws lie in the fact that he's stubborn, and probably more than a little psychotic. He's very detached, and tends to keep his troubles to himself, which never leads to anything good. He also has a giant chip on his shoulder, and tends to mouth off when it isn't necessary. Apollo puts up with a lot of crap. Plus, Midnighter's a stone-cold killer, which may bother some people. I guess I'll take off a couple points for that.

- 2


Final Score: 36/40

I knew this guy would score high, because I am totally in love with him. Especially since his solo series rocks the house. Apollo is pretty sexy too. We'll have to see how he ranks, someday.

Catwoman is my Homegirl

I'm off for the next couple of days, touring around the Maritimes with my band this long weekend. (If you're in Charlottetown tonight, or Fredericton tomorrow night, come check us out!).

I leave you with just a few of the reasons why Catwoman rules:

She can kick two guys in the face at the same time!


She knows how to handle a Batman booty call.


She has reduced Batman to attempting sweet talk!


She has two of the coolest men ever fighting over her.
She can kick a tire into someone's face!


She can make Bruce Wayne enjoy going to the movies again.

Fun With Hal Jordan

Alright. Too much negativity has gathered at this blog once again. Time to cleanse with some fun. This time I'm going to amuse myself by slightly altering some classic Green Lantern panels.

(The original panel, of course, had the scientist saying "Green Lantern" instead of Hal Jordan).

Of course, some panels don't need to be altered in any way.

Idiot. I'll tell you who never foiled a plan by tripping over a wastebasket: Batman.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this man is a pilot. And yet he can't navigate a winding road. And his first thought while plummeting to his death "What's happened to the road?" Yeah, Hal. Like it's the road's fault you're dumb.

This Week's Haul: Better Batman and Other Good Stuff

Comics other than All-Star Batman and Robin came out this week, and many of them were very good. Let's take a look:

Batman #665

I love that this came out the same week as All-Star Batman. Everything about this comic is so right.

When we left Batman last time, he had just been stomped on by a large Bane-looking guy in an ally. This issue opens with this fantastic page:

So funny. And then Roxy the prostitute gives the injured Batman a lift, which gives us another great scene:

Aw. The look on Batman's face!

Batman drags his battered ass up to the penthouse (which looks awesome) and calls Alfred. Alfred and Tim get over there and Alfred pumps Bruce full of drugs. Bruce wakes up later and is all freaked out. We get an incredible facial expression:

God that's awesome. He looks like he was left Home Alone.

Batman's all scared because he's pretty sure he is being visited again by the "three ghosts of Batman": a killer Batman, a bestial Batman, and a Batman who sold his soul to the devil. We already saw the killer Batman shoot the joker in the first Morrison issue, now we've seen the bestial one stomp on Batman's spine, and the third one will no doubt be showing up in #666.

I really liked Bruce talking about the "Black Casebook" of supernatural files:

Batman's got X-Files!

He doesn't let it get him down for long, though. He goes to the laudry basket and takes a whiff of the dress shirt he wore the day before during a board meeting at Waynetech to get himself psyched for battle. It's weird, but entertaining.

I love this series.

Action Comics #849

I liked this better than the first issue in this two-part story, but it's still kind of meh. Religion.

I like it when Superman fights guys that are about equal to him:

I like his "Hmph."

I like Superman enjoying this pretzel:

And I like the way his boots are all slumped over against the wall in this panel:

And that's about all I have to say about that.

Supergirl #17

I was actually really looking forward to this issue because I liked the last one, but I was kind of disappointed. I can't even say for sure why. What happened to Mark Sable? He was credited as co-writing this issue on the website, but not in the comic itself.

I still think Supergirl looks a lot better. With her new normal-length torso she is also a lot shorter:

Her skirt looks really good in that panel, but that was a fluke. It's still a curtain tie for most of the book. And she still has those heavy Turner-style eyelashes that I hate because they look like spiders.

I'll admit, I'm a little confused about what's happening in this series and how it fits in with DCU continuity. Does that mean it's on another Earth? An Earth where Robin looks fantastic?:

This last page was pretty exciting:

Now THERE'S a Supergirl everyone can enjoy!

Countdown Week 50

Team Jonah Hex writes this one, which is rad. This issue gives us a much better idea of what Countdown actually is than the first one did. This time we got a series of vignettes filling in a few holes we've seen in other DC titles, along with snippets of a larger Countdown story-arc involving Jimmy Olsen, and another with Mary Marvel. Interestingly, a lot of the scenes take place in New York, rather than one of the many fictional DC cities.

I love seeing Jimmy back in action, with his pal Superman helping him from space:

I loved getting to see that fight between Batman and Karate Kid that we never saw in the last issue of Justice League, along with an extended aftermath scene:

I love that tube of Bat-costume. Especially the placement of the gloves, making it look like it's trapped in there. The art, by the way, was really excellent on this book.

I like it. It's like a bonus feature disc full of deleted scenes. This could be a very fun series.

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America #3: Captain America

I am just never going to like this series.

Guess what Hawkeye wants to talk about (after he introduces himself unnecessarily to Iron Man and the readers at great length):

Iron Man knocks him out and Hawkeye wakes up in a prison cell. This is where things get weird.

What? Ew! Keep colonoscopies and polyps out of my comic books! Gross! Iron Man has a new hobby!

Anyway, then they get to talking about The Death of Captain America.

It's a very big coffin.

I kinda enjoyed the Hawkeye talking to the Young Avengers part, but it was still sort of clunky.

For some reason this panel cracked me up. Maybe I'm a jerk, but a sad Iron Man is always funny-looking to me:

And, Jeph, repeat after me:

"I. Will never. Use the word 'diddling.' Ever again."

Diddling is like what pedophiles do. It's just below "porking" on the list of gross euphemisms for sex. Man, I'm so grossed out right now. What's the next comic?

The Flash #12

I checked this out because it was one of those issues with an ending that will change the Flash forever. It was a pretty good issue.

I liked Mirror Master coming out of Flash's shiny earpiece:

Pretty clever.

I liked the Rogues chatting about what they were going to do now that time had stopped (though it hadn't, really):

And the shocker ending? Yup...it looks bad for Bart. Almost as if he's going to be replaced...by someone who has been dead for quite some time...

Justice League of America #9

I like the teams being split into little groups, each going to a totally different place. We've seen Arkham, we've seen the Fortress, and now we see Gorilla City and Thanagar. Fun times.

But I think that Meltzer may be grossly overestimating the top speed of a cheetah:

But I don't want to nitpick. I want to talk about this double-page spread of awesomeness:

Power Girl and Hawkman sitting in a tree! That's hot! I love the personality that PG finally has in the new JSA series. I'm so pleased with this development that I'm not even going to complain about her stupid-looking shorts. Aw, she had her heart broken. Hook up with Batman, Power Girl! Doooo it!

Heh: "I appreciate the size you think your testicles are." Power Girl is awesome.

Aquaman #52

I'm glad that, right in the first panel, we get an explanation as to why our heroes are in Sub Diego when we learned in WWIII that Sub Diego was lifted back above sea level. Well, it turns out not all of it was. So that answers that mystery.

I'll keep saying it: this comic is ridiculously fun. There's a word that I am searching for when I am trying to describe the writing, but all I can come up with is "informative, interesting and easy to follow." This is why I am not a professional writer. Maybe the word I am looking for is "good." Actually, do you know what I think makes this comic extra awesome? There very little narration. And when there is, it's a third-person perspective and it's very clear and informative and usually pretty funny. The story mostly depends on dialogue, which is delightfully snappy.

Funny!

This really cracked me up:

The Babe Squad! I love it! That lobster girl! Holy God!

Did I mention that the art rules on this series?

X-Men First Class Special

Well, this was awesome.

Three very funny and enjoyable short stories, and three even funnier mini-comics, involving the original X-Men line-up. Jeff Parker writes them all, and is joined by a kick-ass team of artists (including Colleen Coover! Woot!). The book has a sort of Bizzaro Comics feel to it, which means it's nothing but fun. Magento using his powers to grab the key for the bathroom at a coffee shop? Check. The X-Men battling a mutant beatnik's powers of persuasion? Check. Angel in a sailor cap?
Check.

Plus, there's this:
X-Men + Ducklings = Perfection.

Colleen Coover rules.

Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century #2

It's weird to see Timber Wolf in two comics in one week, being drastically different. And by weird, I mean great.

Timber Wolf, Robot Fighter!

SKREEEEE!!

Catwoman #67

If you aren't reading this series, you are cheating yourself out of one of the most consistently action-packed comics going. There is very little in the way of hanging around and chatting in this series. Even now that Selina is a mom, the violence never stops.

Team Lopez rocked the art this week. I love everything about this page:

I like that Selina has her own little Bat-family now. She has Holly as Robin, Calculator as Oracle, Slam as Gordon, and...Karon as Alfred. Sorta. Anyway, it's good stuff.

Catwoman is rad.

The Plain Janes


This was really, really good. I loved it. The writing, by Canadian punk rocker Cecil Castellucci, was very funny and very smart. I loved the little gang of high school girls being secret performance art guerillas. I loved how layered each of the characters in the book were, despite still having clearly-defined interests that shaped them. I loved the sports-obsessed tomboy who refused to shape her eyebrows but still had a girly crush on the captain of the basketball team. It's little details that change a character from being a one-dimensional stereotype to being real. It was just a really interesting and entertaining read, and it's fantastic to have another great book to recommend to younger readers. There are so many indie comics out there that would almost be perfect for younger teenagers, but have some element in them that elevates them to mature reader status. I know the Minx line is intended for teen girls, but I think DC would do well to just continue to publish well-written, well-drawn, all-ages books for both boys and girls. This line fills a definite hole that existed for those who aren't interested in superheroes, and also aren't old enough for, or interested in, Vertigo or most Manga.

Teen-appropriate indie comics. We need more of them.

All-Star Batman and Robin The Boy Wonder #5: The Live Running Commentary

Alright, does everyone have their copies of ASB&RTBW #5 in front of them? I am going to record my initial reactions to the book as I read it for the first time. When you hear Batman punch you in the face (POW!), that means it's time to turn the page.

Ready? Let's begin.

Batman is punching me in the face. Or maybe this is Jim Lee getting his frustrations out (my theory).

POW!

Page 1: Oh dear. "Sperm bank?"
Five hours ago, eh? Is anyone still keeping track of time? Also, when did Metropolis turn into such a dump?

POW!

Page 2-3: Stilettos? Seems practical. This is weird because it looks like Jim Lee is doing his version of the Frank Miller Wonder Woman from DKR. I don't even know what to say about what she's saying. Let's move on and see where this is going.

POW!

Page 4-5: I gotta say, when I first heard about this series called "All-Star Batman and Robin," I never expected to see Plastic Man and Green Lantern in it. Or even Wonder Woman and Superman.
So...what? Hal doesn't get a proper introduction by Wonder Woman?
Why would Wonder Woman care what Batman is doing if she doesn't care about this "world of men"? Why would she be a part of this organization of super heroes? (I refuse to call it the Justice League). Why is Plastic Man a fire hydrant? What is Hal doing with those giant hands? Is he so lazy that he makes hands so he doesn't have to move his own when he gestures?

POW!

Page 6: Who is this woman? Circe? She wants to kill Batman and put his head on stick because he's setting a bad example with his extreme methods? She wants to murder him because he's a psychopath? But...ah forget it.
What in sweet hell is Plastic Man doing? And why is Hal such a bitch?

POW!

Page 7: Still no Batman. Or Robin. Just sayin'.
"Damn you, Diana! Damn you and your Amazon arrogance!" God that's fantastic.
I seriously have no idea what's going on. But I love it. Superman is telling Wonder Woman that she'll pay for her crimes with her blood. So...these guys are all psycho. Wait...is that the message here? Batman is always getting the bad rap for being crazy, but these guys are even crazier? Or is everyone just crazy?

POW!

Page 8: SHUT. UP! You have got to be kidding me. That kiss is so stupid. Holy lord. This is fanfictastic. Wonder Woman is a Mary-Sue for Frank Miller!!! Seriously! Go back and read the last 8 pages with that in mind!
I love Hal in that last panel. "Duhhhh."

POW!

Page 9: No. No way. No. This...is...the best page...of anything. Ever. It's...it sums up the whole series in one beautiful, ridiculous page.

POW!

Page 10-11: "Giordano and Adams." Cute.
Man, it's too bad this series blows, because it really does look fantastic. These two pages are not too bad. Kinda ridiculous, but if the whole series had started with these two pages, that would have been kind of dope.
Blimps!

POW!

Page 12: Seriously. Nice art.
"Every inch of me is alive." *giggle*

POW!

Page 13: I kind of like the idea of a crazy cackling Batman. That really would be pretty terrifying.

POW!

Page 14-15: Batman is threatening that guy with...arthritis. Weaponized arthritis! Hee!
Well, I like watching a bunch of rapists get beat as much as any girl, so I have no problem with these pages.

POW!

Page 16: No problem with this page, either. Man...not a bad run these last few pages. (And when I say I have no problems, I mean relative to the rest of the series).

POW!

Page 17: Aaaaaaand you lost me. "My darling?" Ew.

POW!

Page 18: "Whiskers"? I find it so weird the amount of times Batman has said "cool" in this series.

POW!

Page 19-20: Alright! Shirtless Alfred! Now we're getting our money's worth!
We all pray your master hasn't gone man, Alfred.

POW!

Page 21: Is this still the night that Dick's parents were killed?

POW!

Page 22: Kids love axes!

And we're done. Well, that taught us nothing. I can't believe how long this took to come out. I bought more Christmas trees in the last year than issues of this comic.

The first nine pages were so awful that they cancel out anything that was tolerable in the second half. I'm actually sort of disappointed that the second half wasn't as stupid as the first. But still...it's a pretty dumb comic.

Irate Canadian Lass

Well! Not only do I get quoted in the New York Post today, but I get described as an "irate Canadian lass." Honestly, have any three more beautiful words ever been strung together?

Superstar artist Mike Holmes drew this little picture of me as an irate Canadian lass. Because he rules.

Also...DC should hire him and have him draw Teen Titans. For real.

And I'm going to make buttons that say "Irate Canadian Lass."

Rating the Super Hunks #6: Magnus, Robot Fighter

There's been a lot of talk about sexism in comics this week. Let's take an ironic break from that and rate another superhunk.

This week's challenger:

Magnus, Robot Fighter

Costume/Appearance: It takes a real man to fight robots while wearing nothing but a very short shift dress and white go-go boots. I consider Magnus to be the great equalizer when it comes to comic book cheesecakery. There are so many ridiculous, impractical female superhero costumes out there, and yet this guy might have one of the silliest. And most blatantly sexual.

It's a very short skirt. And this comic offers consistent upskirt shots, something that is seldom seen in a male superhero comic. The truth is, Magnus should look ridiculous, but he doesn't. He's got a fantastic body, and he shows it off. Plus, he's got really nice features. Great hair, steely blue eyes, powerful eyebrows. He's an attractive guy.

Plus, I really like that belt with the big "M" on it.

Oh, and sometimes his costume gets ripped so it's even skimpier.

10/10

Alter-Ego: Doesn't really have one. He's actually a pretty famous dude in the year 4000. A hero of the people. This is usually the section where I talk about a hero's personality, though, so I'll do that.

Despite appearances, Magnus is a pretty macho guy. I mean, he spends most of his time fighting robots. And sexing his lady-friend, Leeja.

He seems like a nice guy, but can be kind of whiny. He's always saying he doesn't want to do one thing or another. He's conflicted about fighting robots sometimes, and he can be a little emo about his robot up-bringing. But generally, he's all man.

8/10

Dayjob: He fights robots.

10/10

Sexiness of Powers: Magnus has superhuman strength which allows him to destroy robots with his bare hands. That's pretty much it, but that ain't bad.

9/10

Cons: After issue #25 of the Valiant series, Magnus started wearing lame-looking armor when he fought robots. Booooo. I'm taking off a couple points for that decision.

- 2

Final Score: 35/40

I heart Magnus. His comics are like the Harlequin romance novels of comics. He puts on a little dress, fights some robots, flexes his muscles, maybe takes his top off, maybe makes out with someone, and you're done. Very easy to follow, and very easy on the eyes.

DC Also Sucks

So...is this part of DC's campaign to attract women to the Supergirl character?

Because...there are some problems here.

Let's take a look at that torso:

What the hell is that thing?! It's like she has the entire torso of a full-grown male wedged between her chest and her thighs.

This isn't even sexy. Her hips are grossing me out. Plus, it doesn't even look like Supergirl. It looks like they dressed a stripper in Supergirl's costume.

Well, there you go boys. Your very own teenage girl you can take home and turn upside-down so you can peek up her skirt. Easily worth $80.

Mary-Jane Loves Laundry

I've been thinking about it, and I am pretty sure that this is the most offensive thing I have ever seen:

Yep. Pretty much.

It could only be improved if she were also pregnant.

I would like a statue of Spider-Man doing his own goddamn laundry. That would actually be kind of cute. But this is the worst thing I have ever seen. Why is Mary-Jane standing like that?! Even with all the other crappy elements of this statue, it would be significantly less offensive if she were standing up straight. It's like there's a giant fire that she has to lean over to reach the wash bucket.

The thong is also a nice touch. She obviously sucks at laundry because all of her own clothes are shrunk.


Argh!! It's so shitty!!!

Actually, I might buy one of these so I can haul it out and beat anyone with it who suggests that sexism in comics doesn't exist.

All-Star Batman and Robin: the Cliffs Notes Version

Next Wednesday is an exciting and monumental occasion. It is the day that All-Star Batman and Robin #5 finally drops. It's the comic that you love to hate. It will be a great day for comic bloggers everywhere.

Now, the last issue of the jaw-droppingly terrible series came out almost a year ago. Well before I started this blog. I don't want anyone's enjoyment of the upcoming issue to be diminished by the fact that they can't remember what the series is about in the first place, so I am doing everyone a favour. I am going to outline the key plot points of the first four issues, just so we're all up to speed. It's a very intricate and challenging plot to follow, so pay attention:

Issue 1

- Vicky Vale walks around in her underwear and eventually puts on a dress that is somehow more revealing than her underwear for her date with Bruce Wayne. (She is having a date with Bruce Wayne...this is repeated several times in case we can't follow).

- She has a date with Bruce Wayne. They go to the circus where Bruce reveals that he has had his eye on a young boy for some time (young Dick Grayson of the flying Graysons. SPOILER - he's going to be Robin).

- Dick's parents get shot in the head in the middle of the ring. Bruce changes into Batman and grows about an inch of stubble.

- Dick gets escorted out of the circus tent by some comically evil police officers. Vicky tries to stop them and gets her mouth smacked. She then pushes Alfred out of the way and highjacks the Wayne Rolls Royce to hunt chase down the police/Dick. She ends up getting shot, or hit with the Batmobile, or something.

- The cops are about to rough up Robin...because they are evil...when Batman shows up. He grabs poor Dick by the collar and tells him he's just been drafted into a war. Because Batman is also evil. He gasses Dick and literally throws the poor boy into the Batmobile and drives off.

Issue 2

- Vicky Vale has been wounded, and Alfred has torn off his shirt to use as bandages. Vicky regains consciousness and remembers everything, including the fact that the Graysons were murdered "Brutally. Brutally. It was brutal." Weird, overly-sexual Vicky/Alfred posturing ensues.

- While driving back to Wayne Manor, Batman calls Dick "retarded" and refers to himself as "the Goddamn Batman" (Goddamn Batman action figure comes with everything you see here...dead police officers sold separately). He then kills a bunch of cops who are following them, and turns the car into a Batplane. Robin wants to throw up, Batman does not allow it. Robin starts to cry, because his parents were just killed and everything, and Batman smacks him across the face. Batman has a quiet moment of reflection, wondering if maybe what he's doing is wrong. He decides that it isn't. Robin questions the killing of cops, and Batman calls him a little snot.

Issue 3

- Someone who looks and dresses like Black Canary, but who I really hope isn't Black Canary, works in a bar. Then she beats up and/or kills everyone in the bar and jumps on a motorcycle.

- Batman and Dick are still heading for Wayne Manor, now flying. This should really get them there faster. He turns the plane into a submarine, and Robin calls the word Batmobile "queer."

- 15 hours ago in Metropolis(??!!)...Clark Kent crushes a milk carton with Dick's face on it and gets a newspaper slid under his door. The cover story is about Batman kidnapping Dick. Clark burns the paper with his eyes and says "Damn!"

Issue 4

- Vicky Vale dies or something.

- Still en route to Wayne Manor, Dick wonders when they are going to get there, and remarks that it feels like he's been in the vehicle for days. I guess that's a joke. They finally arrive at a Batcave so spectacular, it can only be contained in a six-page fold-out. Batman wants Dick to acknowledge how "cool" the cave is. Dick thinks it's alright. He also tells us that Batman pipes classical music into the cave.

- Batman takes a moment to reflect on how much smarter than Superman he is.

- Dick asks if he can get some new clothes because he's "all sweaty and dirty and I've still got Mom and Dad's blood and stuff all over me." Batman thinks about it, and agrees to get him some clothes. But then he doesn't, and instead leaves Dick alone in the cave for the night. Dick is hungry, and Batman more or less tells him to eat a rat.

- Meanwhile, Superman is bringing a doctor over from France at Batman's request to help save Vicky's life. He's actually running on water, carrying a car. Saying "Damn."

- Alfred serves Dick a cheeseburger and fries. Batman is angry with Alfred, saying that the boy should be forced to eat rats or something. In his head, he calls Dick a brat for the hundredth time in this series.

So, there you go. You're all up-to-date on this masterpiece. I can't frigging wait for Wednesday.

This Week's Haul: I'm Already Confused.

It was a very light week for me, which is good after the mountain of comics I had to get through last week. Plus it gave me time and money to pick up the new Y: The Last Man trade. Next week looks like it's going to be another big week.

I tried to get caught up with Green Lantern Corps and Iron Fist before this week, but I wasn't able to. Next time.

Countdown #51

Flip cover! Whee! Look at all those characters!

So, this is confusing. I am glad this is weekly because I need this thing to unravel very slowly so I can follow it. Basically, and correct me if I'm wrong, I think all we are supposed to know so far is that there is a megaverse with 52 parallel universes. There are some characters that are anomalies and are jumping from one Earth to the next, and the Monitor bros. want to kill those characters. Or, at least, one Monitor brother does.

Anyway, the Joker's Daughter is one of those anomalies, so she is killed.

And that's the death that kicks off the Countdown, I guess. Not very significant, but I think that's the point. Now we're going to see how the death of one seemingly insignificant character ripples across the megaverse and affects every character in it. Am I right so far?

Also, Jason Todd is a decent guy now. But...is this all on our Earth? This is where the Multiverse stuff starts to lose me. I guess that she is from another Earth, and is on Earth One illegally. Or whatever. I was five when Crisis on Infinite Earths came out so forgive me for being unfamiliar with this whole multiple Earths thing. I would recommend Andrew Hickey's Countdown Blog.

One non-confusing scene that I enjoyed was this one, where the Flash rogues gallery was getting together for a little party:

And the ending of this issue was pretty awesome:

It's going to be interesting...

Green Arrow #74

Only one more issue of this to go! Awww.

I hope you guys like Green Arrow and Black Canary doing it, because that's all this issue was.

It was weird.

Also, they apparently stayed in GA's bedroom for over 40 hours. Only breaking so that Oliver could ask his adopted daughter to bring him some chili.

Ok, eating chili while having sex? That's gross. I will remember this when I rate you as a super-hunk, Oliver.

Dinah finds out more about Oliver's supposed year of celibacy:

Y'know, I really wanted these two to get back together, but now that they are...I'm kinda grossed out.

There are some fun fight scenes in this issue, too:

Boxing glove arrow!

Plus, it was nice to see the gang all together.

Aw, they're like the Ninja Turtles.

The Amazing Spider-Man #540

Well, the cover is nice.

I wanted to give Spidey another shot, because it is pretty much the most popular series going, and I get a lot of questions about it in the shop. I feel like I should make an effort to follow it. So I gave this a quick read and, well...wake me when Straczynski is done writing.

Like, I already read Batman. I don't need Spider-Man to be Batman. Even Batman isn't being that Batmanish these days. Plus, who is that guy?! It doesn't look like Peter Parker. At all.

Thank God a fun Spider-Man comic also came out this week.

Spider-Man and The Fantastic Four #2

This book is so funny. I love it. Basically, these alien things are taking over the bodies of various humans on Earth, but seemingly only those who have normal DNA. Thus, Spidey and the FF are spared. A lot of heroes are now hosts to the alien parasites, though, and the leeching is making them sub-par heroes. Check out Doctor Strange:
Yeah. He does card tricks now.

Spidey and Johnny poke around to find out how various Super-Heroes are doing and report back to Reed:

"Daredevil's all bumping into things" is a hilarious line.

Reed's got to take off to fix stuff, so he makes Spider-Man the honorary fourth member of the team in his absence:

Hee! Lockjaw.

Betty & Veronica Double Digest #151

A historic moment, people. The day Archie comics got really creepy-looking.

This is part one of a four-part story that will be continued over the next three digests. It only takes up the first 25 pages or so of the book, and the rest is classic-looking Archie stuff. I hope we'll see more of the gang drawn in this realistic style over the next few issues. I really want to see Jughead.

So, they are trying two new things here: a new art style and a continued story. I say go for it. They aren't doing away with the old style, and I think they could make a spin-off comic using this new design. Although, the art is pretty bad. Not just because it's a creepy new look, but because it's not very good art. The girls do look like teenagers, though. Probably more so than in the old comics. But they are totally anorexic (with giant boobs). You can read the first few pages of the comic here. And while you're there, might I suggest the Jughead's Fashions virtual paper doll? He's surprisingly ripped with no clothes on.

Anyway, if you don't like the fancy new story, you can always skip to the old-style stuff, where you get lots of awesome panels like these:

Hot Mr Lodge Shower scene!

Grifter/Midnighter #3

I know I'm the only person on Earth reading this series, but it really is pretty good. I'm going to keep saying that until it proves me wrong. It looks great, the writing is decent, the story is fun, it comes out on time...no complaints at all. Of course, when you aren't expecting anything out of a series, any amount of quality comes as a pleasant surprise. But, seriously. It's good. Midnighter gets his ass kicked in this issue, and that's not something you see everyday. Grifter has to re-set Midnighter's jaw! And then Midnighter punches him!

Again, I still don't know anything about Grifter, but he's easy on the eyes and shoots people. That's all I need to know, really.

Rating the Super Hunks #5: Ted Kord

Due to popular demand, I have decided to make Ted Kord the celebrated hunk of the week. We'll see how he stacks up next to his pal, Booster Gold.

So, let's check out another fallen super hunk,

Ted Kord, aka The Blue Beetle


Costume/Appearance: This is a great costume. There are two things I really like about it: the blue-on-blue colour combination, and the goggles. The suit is very clean, very simple, and has great design. Unlike the current Blue Beetle, Ted's suit did not resemble a giant beetle, and I appreciate that. Because beetles are gross.

The dark bands at the ends of the gloves, the bottoms of the shorts and the tops of the boots are fabulous-looking. The belt is great. The wrap-around beetle logo is very well-executed, and shows creativity in logo-placement. The shorts also have more of a boxer-brief cut than a Speedo cut, which I always like. The boots have a slight heel. Very stylish. Ted looks like a billionaire, even in costume. And it's very flattering.

Like I said, I love the goggles, but it's hard to consider them sexy. They distract a little from the awesome design work on the rest of the suit. Plus, we can't see his wavy hair. I'll subtract one point. Other than that, a very hot costume.

9/10

Alter-Ego: Ted Kord is a billionaire and a genius. We're already off to a good start here. He is also a nice guy with a good attitude and a great sense of humour. It's no wonder female readers love Ted. Hal Jordan represents the guy that you fall for that you know is bad for you. Ted represents the nerd who asked you to the prom that you turned down, then you realize ten years later that he's the guy should should have gone for. Smart, successful, imaginative, brave, and a total sweetheart.

Ted doesn't get sexy too often in the comics. He was, however, nailing one of his employees.

Yowza! Plus, his flirting with Oracle was always cute. Especially online. Oh, I love that nerd.

As much as I hate to speak ill of the dead, it is possible to find fault with poor Ted. He's reasonably attractive, but he's not a smoking babe. Still, those big baby blues and messy auburn hair aren't bad. He has had his share of health problems. He doesn't always do the best job running that company of his and has frequent money troubles. And...he's a terrible dresser. Really. The costume is the least garish article of clothing he owns.

I'll forgive the clothes a little because it was the eighties, but...seriously. He dresses like a children's performer.

Still, though...

8/10

Day Job: Billionaire inventor.

10/10

Sexiness of Powers: Ted doesn't have powers. But he does have a whole lot of cool gadgets and weapons, all of which he invented. He's a genius and a great athlete. He provided the primary mode of transportation for the Giffen-era Justice League. He's got a gun that blinds people.

Having no powers and still being a member of the Justice League is sexy.

9/10

Cons: Like I mentioned before, Ted has had his share of health and money problems. It should be noted that he has always bounced back.

Er, at least, he probably would have bounced back from his latest money troubles if he hadn't been shot in the head. His death was heroic, and he proved to be the only one able to figure out what was going on when the shit started hitting the fan, OMAC-wise. And his last words were excellent:

You tell him, Teddy!

I'll knock a couple of points off for his tendency to let things slide. Like his business or his weight.

-2

Final Score: 34/40

Nice one, Ted! Rest in Peace. You were taken from us too soon.

Fun With Batman

Phew. I'm done with photo posts for awhile. Let's get back to what really matters: hilarious Batman panels.

This panel just gets funnier and funnier the more I look at it:

Batman takes time to do the little things:

Wait. That's the clock in the Batmobile?! It's a dial clock!

In case what you're wondering what Rule Number One is for Batman:

1. Don't daydream while driving the Batmobile, causing yourself to be nearly wrapped around a pole.

2. Don't talk about being Batman.

3. Avenge parents.

Alright, get ready to cry:

Doctor?! Doctor of what?! That does not look like proper medical treatment.

Man, I like to think that, even if he saw his parents again, Batman wouldn't call them Mommy and Daddy. His parents look a little horrified by it.

Ooo! Heroes is on in an hour! I hope this is one where those Petrelli brothers finally just give in and make out with each other.

Geek Museum!

Alright, here we go with the promised Geek Museum post. Thanks to everyone who sent me pictures and I hope I didn't miss anyone. You are all spectacularly geeky. I love it.

We'll start off with a couple of out-takes from my own collection. First, here is a truly terrifying rendition of the Simpson family, made out of pistachio shells. I bought them at a market in Greenwich, England a couple of years ago. How could I resist?

Even more confusing is that piece of tree that came with them as a display base.

God that Homer cracks me up.

And here's the cake that Matt had the good and confused people at Dairy Queen make for my birthday last year. He provided the sketch, and their icing artists re-created it...with some pretty screwy eyes on Batman:

I like Superman's gut oozing over his belt.

Let's see what you guys have...

arch_schatten's got Justice League dishes, an obscure little Robin figure, a cool blanket, a Batman alarm clock, and a genuine Bat Phone!


Chris McClaren has an Alan Moore shrine and Cthulhu poker chips:


Bob Fries has a pretty great little homemade wooden Spider-Man from Acapulco:

Elayne Riggs has some awesome art. I love the Alan Davis Hulk wedding portrait! That's a sweet wedding present.

April Steele also has some custom artwork to show off, these pictures are by Joel Priddy and Dean Tripp respectively:


I love that anti-Supergirl character! I'd totally hang out with her.

Eric DeSantis has an impressive Green Lantern collection. I love how they are displayed. I hope Hal Jordan never sees this because it would totally go to his head:

Jon's got a pretty sexy bed...and a big fluffy kitty!!!

And a Tumbler:

Jennifer and Dan have a pretty rocking collection, including some customized Lego figures, a Bat necktie, and sexily-posed movie figures:


And here are all the Lego figures playing in a rock band!!!

Awesome! Also...a Smallville t-shirt:

John Anderson has a large collection of Japenese Kubrick figures from The Story of Moominvalley. I don't know what that is, but these figures are pretty great-looking:

Jon Hex has a mighty army of action figures:

And if that isn't enough to scare burglars away, there's this Alex Ross Batman print:

Another attractive bed:

And look in his freezer!

Judging by the vast amount of frozen dinners, I'm going to guess that Jon Hex doesn't like to cook.

Martin Henley has my dream bathroom:

No shortage of reading material there!

And he has a whole lot of figures in cool little shelving units:

He also has a pretty cute kid:

Matt Morgan's got all sorts of stuff:

I am impressed by the amount of Mini-Mates, and by the heroes vs villains set-up. But where are the Booster Gold and Blue Beetle ones? Those ones are awesome!

Check out the Doom Room:

And the homemade Green Lantern rings:

Heather Fitzpatrick shows her commitment to loving Smallville with this Smallville High letterman jacket:

She also has a life-size Spider-Man:

That thing would scare me every single time I walked in the room if it were in my house.

Matthew Brown keeps all his friends at work, proudly letting his co-workers know that he is a nerd. And a Brett Favre fan:

Maxo also decorates his office. He's got a Monitor with an eraser for a head:

A break-dancing Spider-Man:

A fleet of pirate ships:

Plus some Cowboy Bebop figures and a bust of a Wampa:

Matthew Heslin sent a (tiny) picture of his Alex Robinson sketch...of the Box Office Poison cast as the Giffen-DeMatteis Justice League. That's pretty awesome:

Moriah Sellers has a very impressive (and shiny) crystal collection to rival the Fortress of Solitude:
I love the Smallville Kryptonite octagonal disc. Now THAT is a nerdy item! I want one!

Rachel has an large arsenal of Bat items, including a real live batarang:

It apparently only cost $4. And it's sharp! No girl should be without one. She also has a Batmobile toothbrush:

And a utility belt to keep them in:

Plus...a Mrs Welling t-shirt!

But...I thought I was Mrs Welling!

Tremble before Roy MacKenzie's Gundam collection:

He loves robots of all types:

He also has a whole lot of Batman Lego:

Argh! I want that Batcave set so bad! It seems to have been infiltrated by Marvel villains. And Sandman is punching Luke Cage in the face!

Here's an excellent use of Mini-Mates:

The Mutt has a really old, really awesome ceramic Chewie mug:

He also scored this William Shatner LP:

I'll bet that sounds as good as it looks. Really, really good.

He also dressed like Starbuck at a Jethro Tull concert in 1979. That's not technically an item, but it is very nerdy:
So, I know you are all wondering who wins the contest and the signed copy of Shenanigans. It was not an easy decision, but after much deliberation, I have to go with Paul Hylemon. He painted one whole wall of his house with the Booster Gold symbol. I think this wins not only because it's an entire wall, but because it's Booster Gold. And you know how I love fans of secondary characters.

Plus, this wall looks awesome:

I love it because it could almost fool someone into thinking he's just a Dallas Cowboys fan, but it's really something way nerdier (and way better).

So congrats to Paul, and thanks again to everyone else. Because, in a way, you're all winners. And that's one to grow on.

Free Comic Book Day!!!

Oh my. I'm tired. Rumour has it that Strange Adventures gave aways somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 comics today. I believe it. It was a fun day! Lots of people walked out with lots of comics, and I saw some fans carrying out some pretty amazing sketches. The artists were all amazing, most of them drawing for six straight hours! I was a little surprised that Andy Runton swore like a sailor the whole time, but...I'm just kidding. That guy is as nice as you would imagine him to be.

I've got pictures!

An overhead shot of the room:

A shot of Artist Alley:

Local animators throw down some mad skillz for the fans. Kids love Wolverine. And look at that awesome Hulk!

Mike Holmes gets a rare breather between sketches:

Darwyn Cooke lays down a fine-looking Peter Parker:

Andy Runton not only drew for six hours, he smiled for six hours. I'm serious.

This was our security at the door. Pretty intimidating:

Tiina and me are starting to go crazy here. And I am wearing the most powerful weapon in the universe:
And, yes. I do have one eye that is larger than the other. Thanks for noticing. Stop calling me 'Hex.'

Mark Oakley (bandanna) was doing some really amazing drawings of full scenes for fans:

Andy Runton draws Owly as Leonardo the Ninja Turtle:

I get an Owly as The Spirit! Eeeeeee!!!

My brain was so fried by the time I got this sketch, that when he asked me what I wanted I blurted out "Batman as The Spirit." Then I corrected myself. It's like, you practice what you're going to say for an important moment like this one, and then you just screw it up so spectacularly. That's life. Anyway, Batman is my default word whenever I can't think of the right one. ("What would you like on your burger." "Batman...I mean, mustard.").

Dead man walking:

Double Doom! (One by Cooke, one by Holmes):

A Sentinal cartoon by Mike Holmes (hilarious):

Darwyn Cooke reluctantly draws Gambit:

But, come on. That's a nice-looking Gambit. Kinda reminds me of why I had a giant crush on the Cajun X-Man in my teen years. I believe Cooke's exact words while drawing it were "Gambit, how I hate your stupid 90s ass." And that's why we love Darwyn Cooke.

Super Grover and Spider-Man. BFF.

Meanwhile, at the shop itself, things were jumpin':

And back at the church hall....

...Spider Owly!

Robin by Darwyn Cooke (after six hours of drawing! What a trooper!):

Kids love Andy Runton:

Darwyn Cooke loves Free Comic Book Day:

And let's give it up for the man with the plan, the undisputed kingpin of comics in Halifax, Calum Johnston for putting on the event:

He doesn't always look so crazy. But he may be using his x-ray vision in that photo.

One of my favourite things about today was seeing young kids walk away from the artists table with drawings of Saturn Girl and other Legion characters, thanks to the new cartoon. So awesome! The number of kids getting drawings of Venom was less inspiring.

Good job, team! I hope everyone got lots of free comics today.

Oh, and kid who was arguing with me: Wolverine is not, and never will be, cooler than Batman. Don't even start with me.

Free Comic Book Day Previews #2 (With Special Guest)

With Free Comic Book Day only hours away, I am frantically offering my opinions on some of the free comics that I've had a chance to read. I haven't gotten around to reading the free Peanuts comic, but I think it's safe to say that it's awesome.

In the spirit of Free Comic Book Day and its efforts to attract new comic fans, I have a guest reviewer joining me. My boyfriend Matt is a casual comic book reader, and basically tolerates my crazy obsession. I handed him a stack of free comics to get an outsiders perspective.

Me: This right here is the best thing you can possibly pick up on Saturday. It's a showcase of Canadian talent, meaning you get delightful shorts from Darwyn Cooke, Bryan Lee O'Malley, Hope Larson, J. Bone, Steve Rolston, and a whole pile of other awesome people. It's worth it for J. Bone's hilarious story alone. Actually, it's worth it for the two covers alone (one by Cooke, one by O'Malley). Plus...a Kim Pine story!

Matt: Well, right off the bat it's awesome to see the full Scott Pigrim cast in colour. That's a nice treat. The Kim Pine story reminds me of when I had roommates.


Me: Evan Dorkin!

Matt: I usually enjoy these. It's like an extra Simpsons fix, and it's always great to see new Futurama stories. And you find out where Zoidberg lives.

Me: I'm hungry

Matt: We should order a pizza.

Me: Yay!


Me: This is what Free Comic Book Day is all about. A simple, fun story that anyone can enjoy. Plus, the preview of what's coming up in Amazing Spider-Man totally makes me want to read the upcoming issues. Well played, Marvel.

Matt: It was pretty fun. It was goofy. I'm not into costumes. I guess it was kind of a cute scene where all of the villains were betting on him, but when I see a whole page of guys in tights...meh.

Me: I...don't understand the words you are saying.


Me: I thought this was pretty fun. I have been reading Invincible, but I've never read Walking Dead or Brit. Werewolves are the new zombies, in case you didn't know. Brace yourself for werewolf mania.
My favourite thing about this comic is that the protagonist (werewolf) is a family man. That's a break from the norm. This is not a kids-safe comic, though. Don't be fooled by the cartoony artwork. Much like Invincible, there is a decent amount of blood and gore.

Matt: I might read this series. It's a good concept. He's trying to balance his work and family with being a werewolf.


Me: This is exactly why I like kids Marvel comics so much more than regular Marvel comics. Marvel does kids comics really well. Both of these stories (they are separate: an Iron Man comic and a Hulk comic...they don't hang out) are well-written enough to hold an adult reader's attention, and they both have beautiful artwork. Plus, if you've never heard of Iron Man, the comic really sets up the character nicely. I am so on board with both of these series.

Matt: That experimental jet that shoots straight up and comes back down again sounds like a bad idea.


Me: I have no idea why I haven't checked out the Lone Ranger comics yet. Great writing, great artwork, Cassaday covers, and cowboys. That is really all I need. I think I'll buy the hardcover.
Oh, and there's a Battlestar Galactica comic in this one too. Whatever.

Matt: That was short. I liked the use of interior monologue. It's really well done.

Me: Is it alright if I order a plain cheese pizza? I'm too tired to pick toppings.

Matt: I guess so.

Me: If you are a Nexus fan, this is a nice treat. Mike Baron and Steve Rude pick their favourite Nexus moments and collect them with commentary by Baron. Also, there is a preview of the first issue of the new series, starting in July. If you have never read Nexus...this probably won't help you understand the character at all. But you should read Nexus. Go check out the origin issues.

I have decided that Matt isn't ready for this comic yet.




Me: Man, I love this owl. This story has flashback Owly as a little kid! Like he needed to be any more adorable. I got to meet Andy Runton today, briefly. It was exciting. I have to admit...I was confused by the Korgi story. Does the dog have superpowers? It looked really nice, though.

Matt: This is great. Owly is adorable, and he encourages an interest in ornithology and gardening...and now in crafting! And all without words! Brilliant!

Me: Let's give Andy Runton a hug tomorrow.


Me: I have actually never read and Amelia Rules comics before, despite hearing great things. This was really funny. I want to read all the books. I'm a sucker for really intelligent kids entertainment with an advanced sense of humour. It reminds me of Disney's Recess or Pepper-Ann. Those were great cartoons.

Matt: heehee..."poophead." (Ed.: He also cracked up at the "Definition of Hanging Out" page. Seriously, check out the comic. It's rad).




Me: This was...not my thing. I mean, the genre isn't my thing (pathetic 20-somethings who want to get laid...in black and white!). Also...rock bands rarely translate well to comics...if its earnest.

Matt: It strikes me that the writer has never been in a band, and has a weird idea of what actually happens.

Me: Maybe its like this for some bands. Just not our bands. Except Tiina is always trying to sleep with me. That part is accurate.

Pizza time! Have fun tomorrow everyone! Grab as many as you can!

Free Comic Book Day is Tomorrow!!!

Here's what the store that I'm lucky enough to work for is doing:

Now that's an all-star line-up if I ever saw one. I can't believe I get to meet Owly!!! Er, I mean...Andy Runton! I'll take lots of pictures.

I gotta run to work and move boxes of comics to Saint David's Hall. Later...more previews. For real!

Also...Spider-Man 3 is SO GREAT! I hate Venom in general, but I was comforted by the fact that you can kinda tell that Sam Raimi does too. Spider-Man!

I'm so very tired right now.

This Week's Haul: The Mother Load!

Oh I'm in a good mood. It's a great week for comic fans. Spider-Man 3 opens (I've got my midnight ticket for tonight!), it's Free Comic Book Day on Saturday, and EVERY GOOD COMIC EVER came out this week. Like, seriously, more comics came out this week that I wanted to read than any other week ever. There's no way I'll be able to write about all of them. I'll just say right now that Avengers: The Initiative #2 was really great. I think it's going to be a really fun series. Especially if you like teens with superpowers. And I do. Jonah Hex #19 was also excellent. So was Hellboy. And I haven't gotten to read either of the Hulk comics yet. I probably wouldn't have much to say about them anyway.

Better get started. Several new additions to the line-up this week.

52: Week 52

Nothing makes you realize how quickly a year goes by like a weekly comic series. I can't believe it's over already.

This issue was crazy. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little confused. I'm glad that big dumb Booster Gold was along for the ride. I didn't feel alone when I kept thinking "huh?"

It was a good conclusion. A clever conclusion. And now we have a brand new mysterious "megaverse." I was really happy that Booster and Skeets saved the day. And I loved Rip Hunter saying "this moment is remembered as the beginning of Booster Gold's glory years." Yay! And I get to witness them!

This was so rad:

And Skeets didn't even really die! Magnus made a new one! Everything is awesome!

Of course, what I really loved, is the scene between Booster and Ted Kord. Did anyone else cry all over their comic?

And I guess Ralph Dibny really is very dead. I am sad. But this panel was so very sweet:

He had a good death. I guess I can find comfort in that.

Oh, and Batwoman is still alive. We'll see how I feel about that as time goes on.

Good job, Team 52! It was a fun ride! I look forward to Countdown!

Green Lantern #19

A new addition to the Living Between Wednesdays weekly haul. I finally go caught up on this delightful series. It's totally the Harlequin Romance Novel of comics. Every issue I'm just like "Oooo...who is Hal going to be making out with this time? And what will his hair look like?" As ridiculous as Star Sapphire and her amazing glowing vagina looks, it does kind of work with the story. I mean. No. The costume is horrible and they could have done a lot better designing it, but I can overlook it because the comic is so fun. I love that one of Hal's greatest enemies is an alien sex goddess who wants only to mate with him and spawn. She leaps into the bodies of human females that he's into, in hopes of attracting him, but that's, like totally exhausting because he likes a different woman every day. That is very funny.

And the art has been solid throughout the series. I love Daniel Acuna's work on these last couple of issues. Very pretty. And I love this:

Zing!

I also love that Carol asks Hal to make her a suit with his ring and he makes this little number:

Oh, Hal.

Superman #662

I could look at Pacheco's art all day. It was a really good week for art in a lot of comics. This Busiek/Pacheco run is going to make for some excellent-looking trades. And I think the story will flow really nicely when it's all collected. There are a lot of details to remember, and it's been going on for a long time now, so sometimes I have a hard time keeping track of what's going on. Or maybe it's just because I am staring at the pretty pictures and not paying attention:

Sooo prettty...

Actually, I was paying attention at least a little. This little scene between Superman and a man he met in a vision of the future shown to him by Arion the sorcerer was really good:

I love the little piece of narration there. Very funny. I like Busiek's Superman voice a lot.

The All-New Atom #11

I also picked up the All-New Atom trade this week because this series rules. Gail Simone has created a fantastic nerdy, funny hero who effectively eases my pain as I mourn the absence of Ray Palmer. In this issue we get to see him being funny:

...and dreamy:

And next: the hunt for Ray Palmer begins! I think it speaks volumes about how good this series is that I am kind of thinking "Maybe he could stay missing...just a little longer?" I don't want Ryan Choi to be the new Kyle Rayner.

Detective Comics #832

Fill-in! Ok, I've made a decision about Andy Clarke's artwork, which I was on the fence about previously. It's really good. This issue looked fantastic. It was well-written too. And it was a Terrible Trio story, which is rare and an interesting choice.

Look at these pages!

Lovely! Even the alternating blue and green borders are very aesthetically pleasing. Here's another stunner:

A+. I also liked Bruce Wayne's fierce sideburns:

Not bad at all!

The Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1

Oh man, speaking of excellent artwork, this comic was really beautiful. Not just the art, either. It was just a really nice book about a really nice love story. I read it right after Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane, which was perfect. It's a nice re-telling of the history of their relationship that ties into current continuity. I can't stress enough that it was really good. And you know how I feel about Spider-Man these days.

Of course, he isn't usually so dreamy:

There are some really great-looking flash back scenes like this one:

So nice!

And, like I said, the writing was fantastic. Very witty and fun and heartfelt. I really loved this scene:

Man, annuals are great.

Runaways #26

All caught up on this one too! Yay! I'm very glad because this issue was totally awesome. Whedon really is rocking this thing in the way that he rocks everything (and I didn't even watch Buffy).

Ok, seriously. Is anything funnier than The Punisher getting punched in the stomach by a super-strong little girl?

The answer is no. Except maybe the aftermath:

I love the Punisher War Journal commentary running thoughout the scene. Especially when he says "Punisher War Journal: Hhhhhhh..." after getting punched. Comedy gold, people.

Molly is funny:

And Chase is funny:

Very funny:

This series rules.

Scalped #5

This was my favourite issue of Scalped yet. Really great. I loved getting some of the back story, and learning about Agent Nitz's plans for Dash. Plus, it was crazy raunchy as usual, and just really, really good.

Shazam and the Monster Society of Evil #3

Oh man. I can't believe there's only one issue left of this series. Twelve more! Please! A hundred more! It's perfect!

Monsters!

Adorable Captain Marvel and plucky Mary Marvel!

Sexy groping!

God that's really funny. And maybe a little creepy.

I also really liked this scene with the helicopters because it totally looks like the helicopters themselves are talking:

Helicopter body language!

Man, so good.

Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane #18

I can't stand how cute Firestar and Spider-Man are. In this issue she decides to take their relationship to the next level, which, in superhero terms, means to take the mask off:

Awww. She lives in Jersey.

Spidey's not so into how fast things are moving:

How can anyone not love this series? It's not possible I tell you!

Midnighter #7

The thing about Midnighter is that he is gay, and has a husband, but the Authority comics have always kind of downplayed it. In a positive way. It's never been gratuitous. The character happens to be gay, but that's not all he is. I respect that, and I think it's great. But I also respect opening a comic with this page:

Oh, Brian K Vaughan. You come on to write one issue and you just...rule...so much. I said there were a million good comics this week, and there were, but this might actually be my pick of the week. And not just because of that first page. The detail to pay attention to there is actually in the top left corner. The End. This entire comic, as a way of playing with Midnighter's ability to calculate every possibly outcome of any situation in advance, is told completely backwards. You can read it either way and it's still a great issue. But by reading it front to back (which is actually back to front), you get all sorts of clever jokes. It's really a lot of fun. Page five we see a badguy say "Holy God! Did you see what he just did to Boyson?" and on page six...we see what Midnighter did to Boyson. Holy God.

Page 14 we have a woman begging Midnighter for her life. On page 19 she confidently says to Midnighter "I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to defiling your corpse."

Midnighter rules. And so does Brian K Vaughan.

Astonishing X-Men #21

Oh man! This comic came out this week too??!! What a time to be alive!

More Whedon rocking the house. Being hilarious.

Cyclops made a funny!

I loved all of the conversations between Scott and Emma in the fighter plane. I love Colossus trying to deal with being a messiah. I love Beast's bickering with Agent Braind:

Speaking of "Oh my," how about that sexy scene between Kitty and Colossus? Hot stuff! I love those two.

Phew! Done! Enjoy Spidey 3 everyone! I'll try to get some more Free Comic Book previews up tomorrow. It's been a very busy week.

Rating the Super Hunks #4: Captain America

A very special memorial edition of Rating The Super Hunks.

Captain America, aka Steve Rogers

Costume/Appearance: I'm not saying that Cap's costume isn't great, I'm just saying it isn't sexy. At all. I mean, seriously.

It looks like he's about to get shot out of a cannon.

From the swashbuckling bright red boots to the little wings coming out of his head, this suit is a total nightmare in terms of hotness. He really does look ridiculous. My favourite thing about it is the way he wears his giant heavy shield on his back. That's very manly.

He's got a great body, no question, but this is just not the way to decorate it. Superman looks at this suit and says "Wow. That's a tacky costume. You've gotta tone that shit down."

That said, I love how seeing the suit always makes Americans in the comics swell with pride to the point that it brings tears to their eyes. And, honestly, I sort of feel it too. And I'm Canadian.

But it's still not sexy.

3/10

Alter-Ego: Steve Rogers is not a lot of fun.

He's a military man, through and through, and he doesn't crack a lot of jokes. He does have a blind, naive patriotism that is very charming, though. He also has an adorable fish-out-of-water thing going for him, in that he lived most of his life in the 1930s, and still clings a little to those days.
He's got a sweet, government-supplied apartment. And a big record collection. He likes big band swing music (again, adorable). His clothing is simple, and he's often sporting a tight, white t-shirt. Always a good choice.

He's a square-jawed, blue-eyed rugged all-American with a no-nonsense haircut. I'm sure some people are into that, but it doesn't really do it for me. He's reasonably dreamy, but not Bruce Wayne dreamy. Or even Ted Kord dreamy. He does have excellent taste in women though. And he's a fearless, noble hero who selflessly defends the lives of others. I guess that's pretty sexy.

6/10

Day Job: Captain America's day job is...being Captain America. At least nowadays. I liked it in the late 70s/early 80s when he was a graphic designer. It's just so amusing that Captain frigging America would have to find time to finish ad proofs. I also just liked that he happened to be a good drawer. It had nothing to do with his powers. Like, Clark Kent is a reporter because it suits his Superman lifestyle. Ditto with Peter Parker. But Captain America as a designer? That job would just be a pain in the ass.

But he's not a graphic designer anymore, unfortunately. He's a full-time hero.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. I'm going to give him a 5 out of 10 on this one because I can't decide if not having a day job is good or bad.

5/10

Sexiness of Powers: Captain America was chemically altered during WWII to be the "perfect man" (crazy scientist guy's words, not mine). He's strong, fast, smart, tough, and agile. These are all good things. He also can throw a giant heavy shield like a boomerang, ride a motorcycle like nobody's business, and surf on a fighter jet.

Really, you can't argue that Cap's powers aren't sexy. He's pretty much fully loaded with perfect traits and abilities.
Yup. That's gonna earn him a solid ten.

10/10

Cons: Well...he's dead. That's a definite minus. Actually, I'm going to overlook that little detail. Particularly because his last words were so dreamy:

And female comic readers the world over swooned and fainted.

I don't think Cap's going to lose too many points here. I mean, sure, he's no fun at all, and he did kind of bitch out at the end of Civil War, but he really doesn't have many glaring flaws. Other than being dead and all. Sometimes he even loosens up a little:

With sexy results!

I'll take off one point for being boring.

- 1

Final Score: 23/40
Yeah, that sounds about right. I mean, even in a super-sexy picture like this, he still looks pretty silly: